Elvis, Anyone? - Issue #4
Ice Princess Deluxe

Well folks, sorry about neglecting this column. Went kind of on vacation and let everything slide. So, seeing as I didn・t write one for July and it was my very good friend and writing partner・s b-day that month, here・s an installment just for Yezra. Hope ya like it Chica.


At any given moment, there are at least three Nick Furys running around my small town. I never see them all at once, but they do have one thing in common, they all go to the bookstore I work at. See? I told you people it was like a strange inter-dimensional portal for X-look-alike folks. I・ll call the first one Nick 1.

Nick 1 comes in every Sunday morning, just like clockwork at one thirty. He doesn・t stay in long, just wanders in and looks at the magazines and the bargain section. Normally he buys at least two magazines, Tactical Knives and Texas Whitetail Deer Hunting. He・s a medium build, white hair and brown eyed man, looks around the age of sixty. Out of the three Nicks, he・s the one that looks like Nick would if he had aged after WWII.

Nick 2 is a little different than Nick 1 in that he・s the same physical age as the Comic Nick. Somewhere in his forties, tall, good looking, and looks like he works out on a regular basis. Doesn・t have the badger stripe in his hair, but his temples are starting to gray a little bit. He・s a pretty good looking man for his age even with the gray, which is just enough to look sexy without me thinking ・eww, he・s old enough to be my dad!・ He comes in every so often, not as often as I・d like, but I usually see him perusing the fiction section for Lawrence Block and John Sanford novels.

Nick 3 is the one that looks the most like Nick as portrayed in the MAX title of the same name. I・ve only seen him once, but wow. What a sighting.

Now that I・ve introduced them, how did I happen to meet them? Well, Nick 1 and 2 were of course from the bookstore. Nick 1 I helped look for a price guide for antique firearms. Nick 2 needed to know when the next Stephen King book was going into paperback. The usual way I usually see the majority of the X-look-alikes. Nick 3 was just a little bit different.

During the months between October and January, the bookstore has one of those little kiosks out in the middle of the mall to sell calendars. My first year at the store I was hired solely to work at this kiosk. Last year I was sent out there half of the time because I had so much experience working it by myself. I didn・t mind. I like being in the mall proper, standing around and getting to observe all the people milling about. Plus I got to talk to the lady that worked at the teen accessory/jewelry store all the time. She・s cool, every other week she would dye her hair a different shade of pink. When she got her tattoo, she ran on over to show me. A lively and friendly person, I wish I could bottle her energy. Anyway, one day there was a set of Army recruiters that were set up at the other end of the mall to try and recruit right out of high school kids. The majority of them are young looking, some stop and browse through the calendars, others just keep on going their merry way.

So there I am, standing in the middle of the mall just wandering around my little booth, straightening up the calendars that had gotten messed up and restocking the ones that had been bought, just because you can only do so much wandering and observing before you get bored out of your melon. I have my back turned and suddenly I hear this deep voice behind me.

・Excuse me, Missy,・ Yes, he did call me Missy. ・Do you know anywhere I can get a good meal without any of that food court crap they・re serving?・ Turning around, my jaw almost dropped. There stood a man in his late forties, mid fifties in full uniform, just screaming out ・Hey, it・s Nick! Lookie here, Princess!・. His brown hair was styled in a buzz cut, he had thick eyebrows and the bluest eyes I・ve ever seen on a man. I don・t think he was angry, but his weathered features made his mouth form an almost permanent scowl. I say his age was in the late forties mid fifties bracket because I really couldn・t tell. Like Nick 2, he looked like he worked out, but even more so. He was tall, maybe over six feet, I just remember I had to crane my neck to look him in the eye.

I tell him that he・s not going to find anything past pizza, pretzels, corn dogs and chicken nuggets anywhere in the mall, but there・s a neat Chinese restaurant just down the street that just opened that he might want to check out. Instead of ending the conversation then and there and going on his merry way, he takes a seat at a nearby bench and asks me how business was going. He used plenty of ・sweethearts・ and ・missies・ in his vocabulary, but instead of sounding sexist, it was as if he didn・t know he was saying it, it just was second nature. The conversation turned from businesslike to friendly pretty fast. I found out that he had been stationed overseas plenty of times and had a ton of cool anecdotes from each of the places he had been. He really was an interesting character that sounded as if he had plenty of engaging stories to tell from his experiences. Of course he asked me if I・d be interested in being a weekend recruit, but he let the subject go when I politely said no thanks. Instead, he asked me if I was going to school and listened with interest when I told him I wanted to be an artist.

In all, he spent at least ten minutes sitting there talking to me, and then he went and bought a calendar. Would you believe it when I said that it was an X-Men one? Yep, he said it was for his eight year old grandson that just adored the comics. After getting his change, he extended his hand and thanked me for a pleasant conversation and wished me luck in my future.

I think out of all my X-Sightings, that one of Nick Fury had to be one of my favorites. Sure, he might have not acted like the gruff Nick that everybody knows, but I think that off panel, Comic Nick just might act like that. Not too polite, but just gentlemanly enough not to be rude. Meeting him was a bright spot in an otherwise uneventful day. Well, not too uneventful. Right before closing for the evening a red headed woman came by and sniffed at the calendars, saying that there wasn・t one that she liked and we needed a bigger selection of ones that had roosters on them.

Oh well, can・t please them all.

Till next time!

ice princess deluxe