Elvis, Anyone? - Issue #7
by Ice Princess Deluxe

Hello again folks. Long time no write, I know. Work and the horror that is College Algebra have been taking up the vast majority of my time. This month・s column is kind of different and a one-shot deal. It・s not about any people I・ve met on the streets that have a resemblance to any X-Character. It・s more about a certain book I・ve read that has several uncanny similarities to the X-Universe. Now, the book I・m going to be talking about is a published work, and the author is a rather prominent one in her genre, so I・m going to put out a disclaimer right here and now before I get the pants sued off of me.

Official disclaimer: The novel Stuck on You by Patti Berg is not mine. It is a published work by Ms. Berg and I am making no money off of mentioning it here. This piece of work also is not a piece of fan fiction, even though I am making several references to the X-Men comics, which are respectfully owned by Marvel Comics. I mean no copyright infringement by doing this article, it is solely for entertainment purposes. I also mean no disrespect by my comments, after all, I・m only one little ole person and I・m certain my opinions don・t matter in the big picture of the said book・s success.

Whew. Okay, legal stuff done. I hope I don・t get a legal notice in the mail saying that I・ve been sued for all I・m worth. It really isn・t much either. I・m the sole owner of a cat, a couple of cans of cat food, and a few Cup of Ramen soup cups. I・m probably guaranteed that the lawyers will gladly hand me back my cat after they get a taste of how testy and unafraid of using her claws she is.

Now, on with the column. The reason I picked this book was because I was stocking the shelves and happened to get reeled in by the catchy cover artwork. I flipped the book over and read what was on the back and was interested. Getting home, I got three or four pages into the thing and started laughing my ass off.

The main character is Logan Wolfe, a retired Las Vegas policeman. He is tall, dark and handsome (of course, this is a romance novel we・re talking about here). He moves from the flashy streets of Vegas because he turned in a couple of dirty cops and now he・s taking the heat for his deeds, so he wants to quit it all. He ends up in a small town where everybody knows everybody and gossip travels faster than anything and he starts living in a cabin all by himself in the woods with only a pair of grizzly bears and a few other members of wildlife to keep him company. He soon takes a job as a fishing guide.

We first meet Logan when a group of elderly women that meet every Tuesday in the local bookstore that caters to the Mystery genre suspect him of being a gigolo and wanting an elderly woman・s money. This piques the interest of the shop・s owner, Miss Scarlett. Cue the romantic plot twists.

As of chapter two, I instantly shifted gears from reading a regular book to reading a piece of Alternate Universe fanfic. Again, like I said in the disclaimer, this book is NOT a fanfic, even though it can read like one. The Logan Wolfe can easily be thought of as any incarnation of Wolverine, and the Scarlett can be thought of as a slightly older Ultimate version of Jean. She・s a petite, red haired, green eyed, freckles on the bridge of her nose, feisty belly button ring wearing heroine. She goes to great lengths to spy on Logan, just because he reeks of Bad Boy up to No Good character.

Anyway, I won・t go into much plot details. In my opinion, there really isn・t very many to go into anyway. The main thing is getting Jean and Logan・er・Scarlett and Logan together. There・s a couple of funny bits, like the scene where Scarlett・s belly button ring gets caught up in Logan・s jeans (It・s all Logan・s fault, he grabbed her and dragged her up against him to get her attention during an argument, which led to kissing, which led to・*insert romance novel stuff here*) and the part where Logan overhears the old ladies accusing him of being a gigolo.

Partway through the book, Logan finds out that he needs to call his old partner for a background check on the little town・s Chief of Police. His partner is also his really good friend. And the name? Nick Fury. No, actually his name is Nick Considine. He・s a gum chewing older cop, gum chewing because he・s trying to quit smoking. The Chief of Police looks remarkably like Steve Rogers with his blond good looks, but later on in the last few chapters we find out the handsome man is actually the Bad Guy that・s Slightly Crazy.

There・s a few other coincidences that I couldn・t help but say ・This is So and So・, but mainly because with all the easy Jean/Logan and others right out in the open, I started looking for others. The diner/bar owner had a little of Rogue・s personality while the mayor/owner of the sporting goods store reminded me of Harry from Harry・s Hideaway.

Now if you want to check it out for yourself, head on over to your nearest bookstore. You may like it, or you may not. I bought it for the humor factor in finding so many similarities, but I haven・t read it again since I finished it. My opinion, it・s got a lot of sex in it, some cute banter between characters, and if you follow closely, a plot that・s got a few twists and turns in it to keep you interested.

The only two things you won・t find in this book are Logan・s claws (even though he decks a guy for insulting his woman) and Logan・s penchant for flannel shirts.

I sure did miss the flannel.

Until next time!

ice princess deluxe