I've been using single, completely italic lines for private thoughts.

And I'm too stubborn to change that because I have been writing them that way for years. So if they get lost... oh well.

Any questions, just drop me an eMail.

Okay, standard disclaimers. I don't own these characters, Marvel does. Please do not sue me. It would be a worthless gesture and a waste of time, because the only thing you'd inherit is my bills. And they are not small ones. The only characters Marvel doesn't own are the ones I made up for the scenes in Oklahoma.

I'm giving this an R rating to be safe (for violence, language and sexual situations). Though in my opinion it's PG 13.

 

My Many Thanks: to AngelArchiver for making me a better writer and a better person; Valkyrie for everything (love you much GF); Ascian for the patience, HTML help and especially the Jubes/Wolvie website inspiration.

About this story ... I took a few liberties with some of the situations Marvel has created, and has yet to present. Like the cover art for Uncanny #394 with The Red Menace throwing herself at our Wolvie. Not that he wouldn't kiss her back, but... what does she think - Scott won't notice??? Cripes, I can't stand her. Anyway, I have no idea what that book will be like. There is a also big gap in this story where Jubes takes off and about 4 years pass. At the beginning, I have Jubes returning from the school to the mansion, and she is about to turn 19. The gap is about 4 years, and when we catch up to her, she is 23.

Remy is living in the boathouse, not Scott and The Red Menace. Remy and Jubes are very tight here.

Now for the big leap of reason. In this story, Oklahoma (and I apologize to anyone that lives there, I just needed a state) eventually becomes a 'Mutant-Free State'. It isn't sanctioned by the government, persay, but then, neither are the enormous hikes in oil prices... right? Red tape is there for a reason, folks. Problems create revenue. Uncle Sam likes that. Okay, I know, offa the soap box Slyphia...

So those mutants that live in OK are in danger and other mutants that can pass in polite society have set up an underground railroad of sorts to get them out. And that's a mess that Jubes goes and gets herself involved in...

I apologize to all the X-Men experts out there, I have only been reading the X-titles for a month or so and I have a huge amount to catch up on yet. And I also apologize to all the wonderful fanfic writers on this site if I have written anything here that even slightly resembles your fics. I've read most of them...

I wrote this because I want some closure on the Jubilee issue ... you know the one? The one where Marvel seems to be tucking her in a box and putting her away? The one where all that time that she and Wolvie spent together doesn't seem to count for crap anymore...?

THAT Jubilee issue.

---

 one

School's Out

"Welcome home, Chere."

"Remy." His name came out as little more than a sigh as she hugged him tight around his waist. She was tired. She wanted to take a nap, but she had all the hello's and how-are-ya's to get over with. Logan was still in Asia, so that was one hello she would have to do without.

So what else is new...?

Rogue sauntered down the stairs and smiled. She put her hand on her hip and grinned at them. Remy's back was to her and Jubilee's eyes were closed. She swayed in his embrace in a way that suggested she would fall over if he let her go.

"Well, Shugah, ya'll gonna share those good tidin's with little ole' me, or does that shiftless Cajun get it all?"

Jubilee ducked her head around Remy's protective arm and smiled at the southern beauty.

"Rogue."

Like a orphaned human raised by chimps - which in Jubes' opinion was not too far from the truth where the Ice Queen was concerned - at the moment all she seemed to be capable of speaking was their names. She moved out of Remy's embrace, releasing his hand at the last possible second. Then she fell into a warm hug with Rogue.

"Aw, Jubes!" Rogue cried happily, "Ah'm so glad you decided to come back ta us!"

All Jubilee could do was close her eyes and smile.

Much the same thing happened with the rest of the team; Jubilee even embraced Cyke. Storm cried, and Bishop actually hugged her back.

But after a while, it had caught up with her. She yawned at the dinner table over and over, and would have passed out in her plate if Rogue hadn't grabbed her by her ponytail. The rest of them giggled as her head fell back, and she snored.

"Will one o' you big, strong gentlemen please take this poor young lady up ta her bed? Befo' she sucks her peas up inta her nostrils?" Rogue giggled. Remy got up and granted his lover's wishes without question.

"Well, I guess big an' strong will havta do if the gentlemanly part cain't be had."

"Gambit heard dat, Chere..."

***

When he got Jubilee up to her old room, he propped her up in the armchair and moved to pull the covers down on her bed. Then he removed her tennis shoes, and set her ponytail free. Remy lifted her little form back up into his arms and slid her into the bed. He covered her up and brushed the hair out of her eyes.

"Sleep tight, Petite. Don' let de bed bugs nibble yo' feet."

He kissed her on her forehead. Jubilee flipped onto her side and sighed the last name of the day, the one that never came to be.

"Wolverine..."

Remy shook his head and smiled.

Some tings... dey ain' never gonna change.

***

Back at the dinner table, the conversation shifted to Jublilee, now that she was asleep.

"She's being very clingy. Anyone else notice that?" Bishop said.

Ororo interjected, "Well... she's been gone a long time, and she didn't like most of it."

"I didn't get that impression," said Drake.

"Neither did I," Scott agreed.

"Den you need to get som' new glasses, Cyclops. Dat girl been wanting to come home for long time now."

"You think so?" Scott was truly surprised at LeBeau's admission.

"Gambit know so, boss."

"But... I thought we resolved that. She said she didn't resent me for sending her there."

"She didn't, Charles. She didn't resent it. She just would have rather been here, with us." Ororo placed a hand on his shoulder. "She did it to make us happy. She thought we wanted her there."

"Yes, she thought that Shugah; afteh' she got over thinkin' what we really wanted was her gone from here."

"Well," Ro continued, "Yes, there was that too." She looked down.

"But she had people there, right? Friends her own age and people to help her deal with what happened with Bastion? And whatever else happened after..." Scott tossed his napkin onto his plate. He wasn't pleased with the way this conversation was going.

Rogue looked at Remy. Everyone else looked at Remy. Without Logan home, he was the one with all the answers to the 'what about Jubilee' questions. And it wasn't like Logan would have shared any info with them anyhow.

"I don' feel completely comfortable talking 'bout de petite behind her back wit her under de same roof."

Rogue slipped a gloved hand under the table onto his knee and rubbed it reassuringly.

"But Gambit tell you wat he know 'bout dat. I asked Frosty 'while back if Jubilee ever got 'round to talkin' 'bout de whole 'Operation Zero Tolerance' 'ting, and de Ice Queen, she say to me 'What 'ting?'. So, no; I don' tink de petite been talkin' much 'bout what Bastion did to her. An' she just push it down, put on de brave face and did de best she could wit de studies and tryin' to figure out what to do wit de new powers dat been creepin' up inside her. An' der been other tings dat happened to her at de school dat we not even know about."

"What kind of 'stuff', Remy?" Scott's brow furrowed and he stared at the former thief.

"How much time you got to sit here an' talk 'bout it, Cyke?" He eyed his fellow X-Man with a look that could almost be interpreted as disgust. Not with Cyke in particular ... but with all of them, including LeBeau himself.

Remy reached for his beer mug, and swallowed the last of it. He set the glass down in the silence of the dining room.

"So Gambit say, dat if de petite wan' be clingy for a bit, we need to keep our arms open to her."

Scott rubbed his chin. Finally he said, "She's gonna pop, isn't she?"

Remy didn't move a muscle, but looked over at him. "You can count on dat, Cyke."

"We should intervene, for the child's sake." Beast removed his spectacles and cleaned them solemnly, and their were tears forming in the big guy's eyes.

"She isn't a child anymore, Hank." Jean gave him a sympathetic look. "She'll be 19 soon. That's hardly a child."

"Frankly, I don't see where Jubliee was ever a child." Bishop muttered quietly. "Look at what she has been through."

"She acts like it quite enough."

"Maybe she does... n'maybe she's jes tryin' to hang onto what little she had left o' her childhood befo' it was stolen from her," Rogue eyed Cyke carefully.

He bowed his head. "You're right, Rogue. I don't want to believe it; if for nothing other than Jubilee's own sake... but I already do. I shouldn't have said that."

"And if we do intervene?" Psylocke finally spoke up. "That may do more damage than good. As Jean said, she is no longer a child. She may resent the interference, may even feel it is too little, too late."

"Oh, man... poor Jubes," Drake muttered, rubbing his eyes.

"I, for one, wish our friend Wolverine were home. She is closer to him than any of us," Beast said.

"Dat might help, mon ami, but Jubilee, she not even tell Logan what goin' tru her head anymore. He not been able to give her a whole lot o' time lately, neither."

"That hasn't helped matters," Storm said sadly.

"No, but dat's just one more 'ting Jubes 'tink she s'pposed to take care of all by herself. Anyone else see de pattern formin' here?"

They all fell silent, and were grateful that the Cajun had taken an interest in her life, even if he hadn't shared it with them earlier. Jubliee was a lot more complicated than she let on. They all knew that, they just hadn't ever addressed it.

"Well," sighed Charles, "We'll have to keep a close eye on her then, won't we? And not push it, but be ready for the worst when it comes." He clenched his teeth, and stared at a fixed point on the table.

They cleaned up in relative silence, and retired to the T.V., or their beds, or their desks, or whatever suited them.

***

Rogue cuddled closer to Remy, various articles of clothing protecting the thief from her touch.

"Ah hope it don't ruin her life, Remy... When she falls apart, Ah mean. She doesn't have anyone to cling to at night like most of us do." She whispered into the darkness as he stroked her arms.

"If it come down to dat, Chere, den she sleepin' wit us. Dat girl like a lil' sister. Gambit not gon' let her slip away... not if he can help it."

"You do whatevah it takes Remy. Whatevah ya'll think is best. Ah trust you, Cajun."

He looked down at her bare face as it rested on his T-shirt. The moonlight had erased most of the worry lines, but he knew the feeling was still there. The urge to caress her cheek was strong, but he stopped himself.

"Logan'l be back soon. She'll be better when he comes home. Until den, Gambit gon' be her Guardian Angel." He brought a gloved hand up to his lips and kissed it tenderly. "Don' you worry, Chere, it will all work out in de end."

"Ah hope so, Remy. Ah really do."

two

Kill or be Killed

Two weeks went by and everyone in the mansion noticed that Jubilee had grown into a beautiful, if not withdrawn young woman. No one bothered her about it. They were concerned, but as usual, they didn't know how to approach her on the subject, so they just didn't say a word.

Jean and Betsy knew she was having dreams, and pretty bad ones at that. When she slept, it was the only time her shields were down and they could get a reading. Most of the dreams centered around feeling abandoned, or being something of a seventeenth wheel; basically being ignored wherever she was. She'd wake up in a cold sweat every night, then wash her face and go back to bed. She never, ever spoke about it during the day, and the house psychics were both too mindful of her intensely private nature to bring it up. But they knew they had to do something, and soon. Jubilee was a ticking time bomb. Literally.

Determined to break her icy reserve, LeBeau finally talked her into a workout in the Danger Room one afternoon. He had created a program behind her back with Hank, one that included a surprise guest and was intended to make her face her demons. Not just to exercise them, but to execute them.

Hopefully... it wouldn't backfire and make things worse than they already were. LeBeau wasn't looking forward to being on the business end of Adamantium claws if it failed.

Hank was in the control room when they started, and Remy and Jubes were the only real people in the scenario. Eventually, Scott, Jean and Betsy made their way into the observation booth and watched quietly.

It had started much like any other session, fighting and disabling Sentinels and weak, stupid versions of Sabretooth. Then... slowly, somehow, the scene shifted to the Hulkster base.

Jubilee panted, hunched over, and examined her surroundings like a recently released animal.

"What the hell is this, Remy? I don't need to be back here."

"Ya sure 'bout dat, Petite? Gambit tinks you got de unfinished business in dis place."

She glared at him. "That was a long time ago, Cajun. It's time to forget it."

"Gambit could not agree wit de petite more..." He strode casually over to the side of the bunker just next to the room Bastion had held her in. "An maybe after she puts de past behind her, she can really forget it, like she say she has." He leaned up against the bunker and eyed her. He was not smiling as the holographic equivalent of the straight jacket and that hideous, huge helmet Bastion had forced her into suddenly replaced her workout clothes. She squirmed in the jumpsuit and screamed at him.

"What the fuck, LeBeau?!"

Two sentinels appeared. They grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her off into the room that Bastion was, she had no doubt, waiting for her in...

"Remy! Goddamn you, Cajun! I hate you for this!!" She shrieked at him, crying, as they dragged her out of his sight kicking and screaming.

Her words had stung, but he knew he was going to hear then or their equivalent. LeBeau sighed, closing his eyes and praying this was going to work. He looked up to the observation tower as it suddenly appeared and nodded at Hank. The easy part was now over.

***

"Ahhh.. Miss Lee. It's been what, four years? Yes, almost to the month. You don't look all that different, my dear. One would think you'd have bothered to grow up a bit more than you have in that time."

Remy had tossed little touches like that into the program, intending to strike every one of her exposed nerves that he could think of. And the fun was just getting started...

"Fuck you." She spat her words at him. Defiant anger was an understatement for the look on her face.

***

Now sitting next to Hank at the controls, Remy winced at her response.

"I would not want to be on the receiving end of that face, my friend," said Hank quietly.

"Hank, can you give me control over de programmed responses we made for Bastion? Gambit need to make dis as personal as he can."

"Jesus..." Scott whispered. Jean rubbed her temples and frowned.

Remy turned around and looked at Jean and Betsy. "What do de telepaths say? Should we stop dis and let de petite continue to fall down de rabbit hole in her head? Tell Gambit right now, because I got no intention of stoppin' dis once I start it. It gon' end when Jubilee make it end."

Betsy spoke up first. "She is more angry right now than scared. She has been apathetic since before the school closed. I haven't felt this level of an emotional response out of her for months, happy or otherwise. I feel that you should continue, Remy."

Jean dropped her hand and looked at Betsy. "It seems harsh, though, to put her through this. I'm not sure she's capable-"

"Do it." Scott's decisive voice interrupted his wife's.

"Das all dat Gambit wan' to hear," he said, turning back to the control board and the projection of the 'reality' that Jubliee was currently embroiled in.

***

"Really, Miss Lee; all that time in a prestigious school under the White Queen, and 'fuck you' is the only response you can come up with? I'm... disappointed."

"This isn't real! None of this shit is real!" Jubilee looked up at the ceiling to no one in particular. "You hear me, LeBeau? I know what yer doin'! We are through, you bastard!" She sobbed and fought the restraints of the straight jacket.

Bastion strolled forward to where she was kneeling. He bent over as one would address a child.

"There is no one here, Miss Lee, save my sentinels, and you and me. Your X-Men, your precious Wolverine... he is nowhere to be found. No one comes. So if you cannot get out of this on your own... I guess we'll just have to do this all over again, won't we?" He slipped on a pair of thin leather gloves and eyed her scowling face. "After all, no one is expecting you to win this fight, little girl. They had hoped, maybe, but... well, let's just say that the X-Men are used to disappointment where Jubilation Lee is concerned."

Jubliee's face grew cold. Her hands began to shake, as her head forced herself to recall Emma's voice...

***

"She appears to be calming down, to an extent." Jean sighed.

Psylocke felt Jubilee's anger check itself. It was slowly being replaced with something reminiscent of the concentration she exerted when she was training alone, Ninja-style.

"Remy, what is that suit made out of?" Betsy asked.

"De suit is still just de Hologram. De petite still wearin' her T-shirt and shorts."

"Are they cotton?" she asked.

"How should I know dat?" he asked incredulously.

"Hmm..."

"What is it Besty?" Scott looked at her, concerned.

"Well... I've a feeling we are about to find out just how developed Jubilee's skill's have become. I just hope she doesn't melt her clothes to her flesh in the process."

***

There is no amount of properly directed power you can't achieve if your mind is focused. You can spit out tiny strings of plasma, like thin worms, that will dissipate quickly and do nothing more than leave first degree burns on your victim's skin. You can localize the explosion and melt someone's head from the inside out, doing no damage to the other occupants in the room, other than their poor little psyches. I believe you could even create plasma that ends not with a bang, but a whimper. My point is, we already know you can destroy a building with your fingers, Jubilation, but destroying a building might not save your life.

Jubilee was not listening to the holographic Bastion rant anymore; she was concentrating on the memory of Emma's instructions and visualizing her own fingertips. He was strolling back and forth in front of her, going on and on about 'failed expectations' and 'delinquent juvenile behavior' or some such. It didn't matter anymore, she'd heard it all before, and she knew it was what everyone thought about her anyway.

First things first, Lee. Get out of the straight jacket.

The heat was slightly uncomfortable, but she endured it. Sticky, thick drops of plasma oozed out of her fingertips, and deposited themselves on the sleeves in straight lines up and down the seams, obeying her commands. They crawled out of the tiny sleeve holes and settled on the thick straps attaching the sleeves to the back of the jacket. They flew up, unnoticed, in thin, silent wisps to cover the metal band on the helmet that was cutting into her neck.

She absentmindedly stared at a spot on the floor and didn't hear him yell at her as he lunge forward. Bastion's glove suddenly made contact with her face. He backhanded her, sending her flailing to the ground. She didn't even respond, as she felt the blood drip out of her nose and pool onto the cold floor beneath her. The plasma beads were moving, collecting in their assigned places and waiting for her instructions.

The two sentinels got her back to her knees and plopped her in front of the white-haired man again.

"My God, you do give up fast, don't you?" He chuckled, noticing the beads of sweat forming on her forehead and upper lip, and totally mistaking them for something they weren't. She still wasn't looking at Bastion, which infuriated him. He stepped forward and grabbed her chin roughly, forcing her to look in his eyes. "You are a stupid little girl."

Jubilee suddenly grinned at him, and the blood dripped from her nose into her teeth.

"Maybe." She barely whispered. Her face was wicked and calm.

Now.

The plasma obeyed. They blew, all of them, and surrounded her in a ball of white light. The force that came off of the explosion was directed away from her in a wave of energy, and Bastion was blown back. He landed with a thud against a panel of electronics. The Sentinels were rocked from their feet and also thrown back.

Jubilee stood suddenly, tossing off the remnants of the jacket and yanking the helmet from her head. She flung it with everything she had at Bastion, hitting him in the stomach and sending him back to the floor.

Once she saw there was no way out of the room for Bastion except by going through her, she turned on the Sentinels. One stood up first, and advanced on her. She raised a hand, very calmly, with her palm facing the sentinel's chest. A clear shot of plasma, like a stream, shot out of her hand and enveloped its torso. It stood still for a moment, almost as though it was feeling what she was doing to it.

Jubilee closed her hand into a fist and spoke the word.

"Now."

The Sentinel's chest melted, turning to a liquid and then evaporating. Its head and arms fell to the ground next to the legs in a useless heap. The second one, oblivious to the threat and following its prime directive, stepped over the wreckage and came at her. She simply opened her hand again.

The same shot of clear plasma came out, this time covering the entire body of the thing. It stepped backwards, wavering, just as Bastion sat up and stared at them in disbelief. She felt his eyes on her back, and turned, her palm still pointing at the Sentinel. She waved her hand this time, and then turned completely away from it. The metal beast detonated, with Jubilee carefully directing the force of the explosion outward. The only thing she felt was a warm gust of wind that flew up her back and made her dark hair float heavenward. The sentinel crashed through the windows into the hanger, and landed on the floor in a burst of yellow and blue light that faded as quickly as it started. There was nothing left of the thing, except a black, charred spot where it had disintegrated.

Jubliee took a step toward Bastion.

***

"God almighty - She's gonna kill him." Beast murmured, not yet believing his eyes.

"Dat's de whole idea, mon ami." LeBeau reset Bastion's fighting skills to that of a stronger-than-average human man, giving Jubilee a little more to play with, and then he ended his control over it. "We let de petite decide how it gonna end, now."

***

Bastion stood up to his full height. He still towered above Jubilee, but she didn't seem to give a damn about that - or anything else.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance," he sputtered.

"Yep."

He stormed her, knocking her over and slamming her into the far wall. She reached down with one strong, little hand and crushed his testicles.

"Gaaaaaaah! You little bitch!" Bastion cried out in agony, his body slumping over hers. She placed the soles of her commando boots on his stomach and heaved him off of her.

Jubilee got to her feet quickly and faced him, crouching down in a defensive posture. "That's the first thing Wolverine taught me you dumbass; go for what you can reach and don't be cheap with the pain." She grinned at him with her bloodied teeth as he braced himself on the window frame and stood back up.

"You wanna hit me, dontcha Bastion? One more time, huh? I'll let ya if you really want to..." She swayed back and forth like a tennis player, tempting him. "C'mon, baby; I won't fight back. That's how you like 'em, ain't it? Little, right? Young, small and helpless?" She yelled the last words and glared at him. "Can't ya get any real women to play with ya?!"

He screamed at her in anger and dove. Jubilee squatted and got under his torso as he advanced, and she slammed her whole body into his stomach. Using his own momentum, she stood up and flipped him over in mid-air. Bastion's feet went flying over her head and he crashed to the ground in a heap, landing headfirst.

Dazed, he tried to stand, but Jubilee wouldn't let up on him now. She executed the perfect roundhouse kick, nailing him in the mouth with her boot, and sending a few of his holographic teeth flying. He toppled over onto the console he was leaning on. Then she sideswiped his feet out from under him by kicking his shins with her heel. She heard a loud crack as she made contact with his legs and watched as he fell to the floor in a bloody heap.

She stood in front of him, panting... exhilarated. The feral look in her eyes said so much more than any words she could have uttered.

Bastion covered his face and whimpered as she took a halted step toward him. "Psych!" She stopped short, smiling tightly at his fear. She liked the way this was making her feel.

"Y-you said you w-weren't going t-to fight back..." He was actually whimpering.

Jubilee snorted, placing one fist on her hip. "I lied, dickhead."

She squatted down close to his face, slapping him across the cheek, just like he had done to her all those years ago. He winced. "Ohhhh, ya don't like that, huh? Well neither did I!!" she thundered, hitting him again. "I didn't like it the first time or the second time," she slapped him again, "or the umpteenth time, and I don't like it now!"

She hit him again and he cowered. Jubilee stood up, directly in front of his mangled body. She looked down at him with unbridled hate.

***

"That's enough, Gambit, turn the damn thing off!" Jean yelled. She was already crying. She lunged for the controls, but Scott caught her and stopped her.

"No, Jeannie," he said gently, "Leave her go. This has to come to an end. Obviously... we never knew how much of this she's been carrying around inside her."

Jean looked at him, shocked.

***

"You know what, you little worm?" She whispered, almost soothingly, yanking on his hair and pulling his bloody face closer to her expressionless one, "When I got away from you, it was the happiest moment of my life. I thought, 'ain't nothin' gonna bring Jubes down, never again'. But before I knew it I found myself deposited back on the steps of that damn school, too insignificant for even a frickin' X-Men debriefing! Then! More shit happened to me, and more, and even more. And the only thing all that crap taught me was that I am on my own. No matter what else happens to me, good ole Jubilee'll be dealin' with the aftermath all by herself." Her voice never got above the same quiet, controlled whisper. Her eyes were dark, like the color of a cold lake.

***

From above her in the control room, Remy winced at her painful words, and Betsy fought back her own bitter tears.

***

"What I learned, Bastion, is that I have to be able to do things like this on my own."

"Th-things like what?" He spat, and his lip curled back.

She released his hair roughly and stood up.

"This," she said, pointing a finger at his shoes and not even backing away. She watched as his clothes, followed by his skin, melted slowly at her command. The holographic room surrounding them began to bubble and smoke.

She felt his screams of agony filling a dark void in her heart as she stood there, observing her plasma at work. When it reached his neck, she flicked the rest of her fingers at him and the hologram died screaming, his entire body becoming a mass of plasma and blue flames.

There was an unearthly stillness around her. Jubilee stood before his charred corpse, watching the smoke rising and breathing heavily.

***

Upstairs in the control room, Beast made an incredulous comment about the Danger Room's Kelvin readings measuring off the scale for a nanosecond. And Jubilee had stood there the entire time, oblivious to the heated atmosphere ... one which should have left her nothing more than a pile of ash.

3

Jubilee Flips Out

She fell to her knees and covered her face as the program vanished. The smell of Bastion's smoking remains lingered for a few seconds in her nose, but was actually gone with the program. As for a blackened spot now on the real floor of the Danger Room... Well, that was going to take some scrubbing.

No, Beast thought, that'll take new holographic tile.

She rocked back and forth, and began crying. It was slow at first, quiet and mournful. Then she fell over, in one fluid motion, and her sobs came hard, like breaths that her lungs could not yet manage.

***

LeBeau exhaled and sprang up from his chair, pushing Jean and Scott out of the way of the door. "Don' follow me, I wan' go to de petite alone."

"Bring her to the med lab, Remy, I want to sedate her." Hank called after him and got to his feet as well. He moved past Betsy gently, and left the three of them there, dumbfounded.

Betsy walked up to the thick glass and placed a sweaty palm on it. She looked down at Jubliee's little body, now curled up in a fetal position on the floor, her sobs racking her frame. "So much emotion now," she whispered. "There was practically nothing before this... but now... My God, it's like a tidal wave."

***

LeBeau picked up her up from the Danger Room floor and cradled her in his arms. She wouldn't stop crying. He whispered to her soothingly in French, and although she couldn't understand it, she knew it was the Cajun speaking to her. Jubilee grabbed at his shirt. She continued her cries, her voice choking on her sobs and her lungs exhausting themselves at her need for so much air. It was a miracle she didn't make herself pass out by the time he got her to the med lab.

He lay her down on a clean bed and tried to quiet her cries while Hank got an IV into her hand. Jean, Scott and Betsy waited outside in the hallway.

"Shhh, Petite, everytin' gonna be fine now. Try to calm down, Chere."

"Is that what you wanted to see? To hear, Remy, that I know I'm all alone? Did you get what you wanted?" Her face screwed up in agony at her admission. "I'm glad that I killed him. I'm glad!" She screamed at the top of her lungs and her voice cracked with the strain. Jubilee ripped her hand out of his and she clutched at her shirt. Hot tears fell down her face and she closed her eyes, turning away from him.

Hank ignored her outbursts and fixed a bag to her drip. Very slowly, he gave her close to a full dose of a tranquilizer for her weight. Her cries eventually subsided to whimpers, and her hands relaxed the tight grip they had on her shirt and the bedrail. She was growing drowsy. Her head lolled over to look at LeBeau.

"I have nothing left," she whispered, closing her eyes.

"Dat not true, Chere," LeBeau said, fighting back his own tears, "You still got Gambit. You always got me."

"You'll lose interest..." she sighed, "Like everyone else..." She drifted off; finally, mercifully unconscious.

"Non, Petite... Never." LeBeau grabbed her hand away from her bloodstained shirt and held it tightly in his own. Tears streamed down his face and he didn't even bother trying to wipe them away. Hank put a strong, gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Let her sleep, Remy. She'll be out for a good while now. I want to get her cleaned up, then we can transfer her to her own bed. Okay?"

"Yeah, Hank; Remy do dat."

He stood up, visibly shaken, and left the room.

***

It was a fight for him to get what he wanted, but Jubilee never got to her own bed.

The minute LeBeau had gotten her to the boathouse and into his bed, he called Logan in Asia and let him know what was going on. At first he was silent, but Remy knew it was not from shock. Logan was upset that he was not there for her when it happened. He knew that Remy would take good care of Jubilee. But that did nothing to settle his anxious pit in his stomach for wanting to be there himself.

"This ain't comin' as some sorta surprise. We both knew it was waitin' ta happen. It jes took too long, that's all."

"I know, mon ami. I took her away from de mansion. I didn't wan' her wakin' up in de med lab ... or alone."

"She's in yer bed then, I take it?" He said, just a hint of warning in his voice. Logan knew that Remy was not going to take advantage of Jubes, but he also knew how pretty the girl had gotten.

Woman. Woman, you Canucklehead, not 'girl'.

"Yeah, Logan... An' I know what be goin' tru dat thick skull o' yours. You don' need to worry 'bout dat," Remy said, and Logan could hear the small smile in his voice. "'Sides, Rogue'd kill Gambit if he do dat."

"Geez ler-weez, I thought you two were finito, already!"

"Yeah... So de Chere keep tellin' me." He laughed. Remy's voice grew quieter. "I gon' to sleep next to de petite, an' if you were here it'd be you. I can't let her wake up alone."

"That's wise, Cajun. I just wish it was me."

"Logan, if you were here, it would be de both of us, no?"

Logan cleared his throat. He paused. Then he asked it.

"LeBeau, are we competin' fer her affections?" There was, surprisingly, no anger in his voice.

"Dat all depends," he paused, "on what kinda affection you referrin' to."

"You know, even I ain't sure anymore. She's growin' up, Lebeau..."

There was a pause.

"Scratch that ... she's grown up."

"Logan, I want to make sure de girl is cared for, and I always will. I don' see her as a lover to Gambit. And even if I did, it would be da mos' useless ting I could do, 'cuz de chere be too damn much in love wit you to look at me dat way."

Logan grinned. "She is, isn't she?"

"Yeah, mon ami, she is," LeBeau grinned. "So what you gon' do 'bout dat?"

"D'ya mean before or after the rest of the team murders me for returnin' the affection?!"

Both men laughed.

"Look, there ain't nuthin' I can do. Not yet. Is she even legal? And she's got her whole life in front of her! I'm an old man, regardless of what we were to each other, or what we think we are now."

"What you tink you are," LeBeau repeated sarcastically. "Dat be a good one. Logan, you an' old man to everybody. So dat not a convincin' argument, to me," Lebeau smiled.

"Well, she may grow out of those feelings... and if she does, I'll just have to change with her. But no matter what, I'll be there for her. As far as anything else goes... Only time will tell, Cajun."

"Agreed. Just do Gambit one favor," he said.

"What's that, Bub?"

"Keep ya mind open to de possibilities. De petite wasn't de average girl, an' she not gonna be de average woman. Jubilee gon' need a man wit de same kinda experience she has. You may be dat guy, Logan. Jes let it happen, if it will."

Logan smiled softly. What LeBeau said had made sense enough, but it was just too much to think about right then. All he wanted was for Jubilee to be okay. And since she was not in his hands, she was in the next best set she could be in. It would have to do.

"An' if dat don' pan out, den de big Cajun gonna move in on your claim." Logan could practically hear him grinning wickedly.

"Don't make me hurt you, LeBeau," he growled.

"You an' what army, eh?" Remy laughed softly.

Logan smirked at his bravado. That's why he liked LeBeau; he could get knocked down, but never out.

"Take care o' my Firecracker, Cajun."

"Consider it don'."

LeBeau hung up the phone. He smiled.

De future gon' be a mite interestin' for dese two.

He crept into his bedroom, and took a fresh pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt from a dresser drawer. Silently undressing from his uniform and putting on the clean sleepwear, he watched Jubilee as she slept soundly in his bed. He knew he wasn't going to get much sleep that night.

He got a glass of water for each of them, set them on the night stand, and crawled into the bed, spooning himself against her.

***

Jubilee inhaled sharply, waking up with a start.

She hadn't had the dream again; in fact, it was the first night in a long time that she didn't dream at all. She was startled because her surroundings were different, and it was dark.

She didn't remember seeing the sunset.

LeBeau's arm crept tighter around her waist as soon as she shifted in his arms. He was still awake. And when he spoke to her, his voice was quiet and soothing, but he sounded like he had never been asleep.

"Don' panic, Petite. You have de dream again?"

She exhaled, closing her eyes. Jubilee ran her hand down his forearm, it was warm and fuzzy ... it was a man's arm, and she had to admit it was very reassuring. She rested her hand on top of his hand, her arm against his, and mimicked his embrace.

Remy, I'm with Remy.

Even if Jubilee was not able to admit it, LeBeau knew she didn't want to be alone. She needed to be near somebody. She always had her preferences.... But if Logan wasn't there, she was positive he was, at least, aware of what had happened.

"No, I didn't dream at all. I just didn't know where I was for a minute." Her voice was raspy and strained from exhaustion. She sounded worn out. She sounded much older than an eighteen - no, nearly nineteen-year-old girl. It didn't escape his attention, and he hated it. She should be at a party, talking about guys and lipstick, or doing anything else (almost) but not steeped in fear and putting on a tough face.

He didn't say anything. He would wait for her to offer the conversation. The only thing he planned on doing, without question, was staying where she knew he was within her reach. They lay there a long time, listening only to the crickets and each other's steady breathing.

"We're in the boat house, right? In your room?"

"Oui, Petite. Dat okay?"

"It's fine Cajun, it's good even. I just need ta get my bearings. Gotta know where I am, ya know?"

He's here, he's right here; I'm not alone...

"I take it you called Wolvie?"

"As soon as Gambit got de chance, he did just dat."

"Thank you," she breathed, "The last thing I wanted was for him to hear about this from Jean. She'd get all gooey and weird on him."

LeBeau said nothing, but she could feel him grinning from behind her ear.

She ran her thumb over his knuckles repeatedly. He knew she was churning things over in her head again, otherwise she probably would have become self-conscious of that small gesture with her hand. LeBeau was no slouch when it came to a woman's behavior, in or out of a bedroom. Jubilee was young yet, but she was no exception. He knew she was relieved he had brought her here. He also knew many of her thoughts were with Logan, and he would not make her feel uncomfortable about that.

"Chere, don' be scared. Gambit not leave you for anytin'."

She sighed heavily. "Man... I fell apart in there, didn't I? And I feel like I've been sedated..." she muttered.

"Yes, Hank gave you sometin'. You had us all pretty scared. He said it was probly' nervous breakdown."

"God..." she whined, her tone disgusted, "how totally embarrassing."

"Nah nah nah nah, Petite... don' you start dat again. Dat how you got in dis trouble in de first place." He scolded her gently and patted the side of her hip.

"What d'ya mean, Rem?" She flipped over slowly and faced him, sinking into his chest. Jubilee gently grabbed his T-shirt and buried herself in his arms as he wrapped them around her.

"What I mean, Chere, is dat you wen' an' hid all de troubles away, and you tried to keep 'em down, an' it gone an' backfired on ya." His voice was so gentle and quiet, it made her feel like crying all over again. "You wen' an' turned yourself into a firecracker, hopin' no one find de wick."

She frowned. Her throat was tightening up. The last thing she wanted to do was start sobbing - which, of course, was exactly what he was talking about. She'd gotten used to hiding things... LeBeau felt her hands stiffen as they gripped his shirt.

"You tink all dat time ago you not be showin' us dat Bastion hurt you? Or dat you wanted be here wit us, not wit de Gen-X mutants? We knew, but you not talk 'bout it, so we jes not talk about it. Logan goin' out his mind wit' de worryin', girl. An' I wan kill dat son of a bitch Bastion 'bout million times more."

He took one hand, his long, expressive fingers light against her temple, and pushed the hair off of her face.

"You had 'lot to deal wit before you came to de X-Men. An' den dey ship you off to de school, which you din' like. An' wit all dat happen since, an' now school is overwit'... no wonder you be scared. But hidin' it, Chere, dat not de solution... You may be able t'pull dat off wit other people, but you never have wit me and Logan."

He could tell she was close to tears, but she was still refusing to let herself cry.

"Petite... none of de X-Men, none de people here tink you weak. Dey say, 'Jubilee, she stronger dan most of us'. But you can' be hidin' behind a mask all de time. What you tinkin', girl, dat if you cry we never gon' speak t'you again?"

Her lip quivered, and she frowned. "M-m... Maybe." The tears began to fall, and he felt her whole body stiffen. She wanted to pull away again, crawl off somewhere and hide from everyone until she could be carefree and sarcastic again. LeBeau held her firmly, and it took some effort, because Jubilation Lee was no shrinking violet.

"Ya fixin' to run off again, Petite. I can feel you tryin'. But... I not have none o'dat. You ain' goin' nowhere."

She whined a little, scared of the prospect of needing someone as much as all that. But she did... And she knew it.

Suddenly, surprising both LeBeau and herself, Jubilee stopped fighting. Where every muscle had clenched under his grip, he now felt her whole body weaken and submit. The sobs soon followed, and she let go his shirt and covered her face.

"No, Jubes; don' hide from Gambit now."

LeBeau took her hands away to reveal her strained expression and the free-flowing tears. She looked up at him briefly, and saw nothing but concern... and love. Brotherly love, a thing completely foreign to her before meeting Remy LeBeau. Jubilee sobbed again. Now she was fully in it, and he breathed a sigh of relief as she wrapped her hands around his neck and clung to him. He kissed her forehead, and returned the gesture, pulling her close to him and rubbing her back.

"Aw... 'Bout time for dis, Chere," he whispered in her hair, to which her only response was a choked moan, and more sobbing.

"'Bout damn time."

 

 

 

four

All Present and Accounted For

 

Much to Scott's chagrin, Jubilee took up residence with LeBeau at the boathouse. Jean argued that they shouldn't push things with her, she was in a difficult enough situation as it was. Scott reluctantly agreed to it, under penalty of death if LeBeau tried anything.

Standing in the kitchen with a bag of Jubilee's things, Remy took great offense to his insinuations.

"Dat girl be like my own flesh and blood, one-eye, and yea, Remy do mind the inference." LeBeau's red eyes glistened at him, and he actually poked Scott in the chest.

"I just think she would be better taken care of in the lab, under medical supervision, than in your... bachelor pad."

Remy said no more. His narrowed red stare had said it all. He stormed out, back to his 'bachelor pad'.

~ Scott, please; try not to assume the worst scenario right off. ~

He stood in front of the window, clenching his jaw as he watched a figure in a trench coat walking away from the mansion.

~ Besides, Rougue'd kill 'im. ~

~ Jean, didn't you hear? They're through. ~

~ Oh, Scott! For pete's sake! That was last week! ~

 

"They gave you crap over this, didn't they?"

He looked over at her where she sat on the couch, grinning, as he zipped open her bag and handed her a stuffed bear.

"Cool..." she muttered, taking it with a smile.

"Non... not 'dey', Chere, jes Monsieur One-Eye. Cyke seem ta tink Gambit gon' be yer new boyfriend."

"Oh, he is so tightly wound! I am so sure!"

Remy grinned wider. It was good to see her laughing so soon after what had happened.

"God..." she breathed, standing up and moving to the kitchen with the bear, "Like I need another father-figure! I already got like, what ... seven of 'em?! And that includes Frosty."

LeBeau laughed out loud at Jubilee's off-handed insult. The White Queen's tendency towards bossiness bordered on the masculine. Yes, Emma had nice cleavage. She also had balls of steel.

"You see Gambit as a poppa den, Chere?"

"Nah," she grinned, jumping up to sit on the kitchen counter as he followed her there for a cup of coffee. "Yer more like the big brother that lets me get away with all sorts o' unsavory stuff. I love you too much to think of you as some kinda parental unit." She cringed.

"I like dat, Petite. Gambit don' wan' be a daddy jes yet," he laughed.

"Hah! How do you know you aren't, Rem?!"

He turned to face her with a wicked grin. "Chere, one ting you can take to heart 'bout Remy LeBeau... Dat he may be de lady's man but he is always de careful man."

Jubilee rolled her eyes and giggled.

"And Rogue? She okay with all this, Gumbo?"

"I tought ya heard, Chere; Rogue an' Gambit be t'rough."

Jubilee could see him grinning slightly. "Yeah... but that was last week. You two are never gonna be through!"

He laughed. LeBeau leaned against the counter opposite her. "What 'bout Logan, Petite? He one of de seven fathers, too?"

Jubliee looked down thoughtfully, pulling the stuffed bear's ears. She looked back at him and smiled. "Everyone has labeled us as such," her voice was suddenly a bit more mature, "But I don't feel that way about him. I never did."

"How so?"

Remy LeBeau, matchmaker extraordinaire, now on-duty. His greatest talent in this area was subtlety. And he needed to be very subtle ... because this one was going to take a few years.

"He's not a father-figure. I don't think of him like that. And no father would ever take their daughters on the kind of 'vacations' that we've gone on. And he's not my brother. I love you, Rem, just as much as I do Logan, but it's not the same. He's not like anyone else I know. He's my protector, my trainer, my confidant... same as you are sometimes. But more than anything else, he's my partner. I love him. He's my friend."

Remy smiled at her.

If Logan don' chase you, Chere... he de big fool.

"De man was not happy, you know, dat he was so far away when you..."

Jubilee tilted her head at him. "I had a nervous breakdown, Remy. You can say it."

"De words be long and cold, an' I don' like sayin' dem to you."

"Mm-Kay... then say 'flipped out'." Jubilee grinned.

"Dat is harsh, Jubilation," he laughed.

"Yeah, but it sounds cool."

"Jean would not like it when you say it dat way."

"Well, Jean-o ain't here, Cajun!" She smiled brightly, jumping off the counter. She set the bear on the table. "Besides, Hank laughed when I said it."

"He did dat? Blue laughed?" LeBeau smiled as she walked up to him and hugged him around his waist.

"Yeah..." she grinned sheepishly, "Right before he gave me a physical. You know, when you left yesterday to give us some privacy? He turned purple first, then he laughed."

They both smiled, and fell silent for a moment. LeBeau took a sip of coffee and stroked her hair with his free hand. She was clingy still, especially when no one else was around. He loved the affection; it let him know her heart had opened back up. But he was still worried about her.

"Anyways, de Wolverine, he felt pretty bad. He wan' be sure you gonna be okay."

"Geez, he didn't feel guilty, did he?" She cringed. She wasn't jealous of Mariko's grave, or Amiko's need for him, or Silver Fox's memory... Kitty bugged her now and again, but she could put up with her unceasingly needy nature. And Logan seemed to have his 'Obsession à la Red Menace' under control...

"The last thing I want is for him to feel caught between my crisis and someone else's."

"Non, Petite," Remy said, setting his cup down and wrapping his other arm around her. "Logan don' feel guilty, he jes wish all de people he love were in de same place."

"That's a nice thing to wish for," she sighed, closing her eyes. "All that takes for me is for the three of us to be home at the same time."

"Aw, Chere..." he said quietly, "You such de sweet one when you wan' be."

"Enjoy it Cajun, it never lasts long," she giggled against his warm shirt.

***

Logan dialed into the mansion's mainframe with his laptop. Using the code the Cajun had given him, he accessed the video of the Danger Room session Remy had forced Jubilee into participating. Logan knew that what he was going to see would bother him, but no amount of preparation for it could have stopped his throat from tightening up. The only thing he was truly grateful for, was that there was no footage of what she had said to Remy in the medlab.

You'll lose interest... Like everyone else...

Logan swallowed back the tears. This was his... his... what was she to him now? She was not his child; she never had been. Even if he had thought that, she wasn't a child anymore. She wasn't even his partner anymore, not in any working sense. So what was this girl... woman... to him now?

"Jubliee..." he sighed, saddened by what he was coming home to. "Dammit... How could I let things go that far? Why didn't you tell me, girl?" He closed the laptop and placed it back in its case. Logan tried to relax and sank into the headrest of the plane's seat. Hopefully the flight would get there on time, or better... and LeBeau would already be waiting to pick him up.

***

He was watching the clock like a hawk. Something was up.

"Rem! God! Yer drivin' me nuts! What, ya got a hot date tonight or somethin'?"

"Eh?" he turned away from the clock and back to the movie. "Non, Petite... Gambit back wid Rogue now."

"Uh huh," she said sarcastically. "Yer gonna sneak out on her tonight, aintcha?"

"Non! Jubilee, don' say dat ... she'd kill me."

"Yeah, okay... Whatever. Jes either watch the movie or... I dunno, do somethin' else. I can't take your jitteryness anymore, dude." She hit him with a pillow.

He tried not to, but he looked at his watch. She sighed and smirked, looking away from him.

"Gambit goin' out for a little while, Petite. Don't be waitin' up." He got up from the couch and grabbed his trench coat and the keys to Logan's Jeep.

"Takin' the Jeep, huh?" Remy didn't answer her, he just smiled as he walked to the door.

"More room for tactical positioning than the Harley, huh?" She went right on watching the movie.

"Not to mention the added comfort and traction of that bench seat in the back. Huh?!"

She snickered loudly as he groaned and shut the door behind him.

***

Jubilee woke up at around 10:45 p.m. to the sound of thunder. It was pouring rain out side. The movie had ended over an hour ago, and she had slept right through the last half. The TV was blue, and the room was filled with a strange silent hum. She got up and turned off the TV and the DVD player.

She stretched, luxuriously. It was good to be out of the mansion. She couldn't handle the rest of them right now, poking at her, watching her... judging her. The X-Men were concerned, true, but she didn't want to feel like a bug in a jar, with a suicide watch on top of it all.

And the rain sounded so nice... Hitting the roof and the windows, concealing her in the boathouse from the rest of the world. She had always liked storms, with lightening flashing here and there, followed by rumbles in the distance. It was a total downpour, but the lightening storm had already begun moving away.

She pulled her thick hair back and tied it up with her favorite leather & stick ornament. Used tissues (Remy's), empty pop cans (Jubilee's), empty beer cans (Remy's) and leftover Chicken Chow Mien (Jubes) and Szechwan Beef with Broccoli (Remy) found their way into the waste bin. The Doritos, however, were still calling her name. She picked up the bag and dove in, grabbing a handful and then stuffing it all in her mouth at once, just to see if she could do it.

She giggled. She was on her own for the night. She'd eat stupid things and condition her hair... and maybe sneak a beer.

Heh.. I bet he counts 'em... I know Wolvie does.

Nixing the beer idea, and turning her thoughts to fancy-schmancy vanilla-scented hair treatments, Jubilee padded toward the kitchen in her slippers.

A noise loud enough to be heard over the storm caught her attention, and she froze. It was on the landing. It wasn't Remy ... she hadn't even heard the Jeep pull in. Was it one of the team?

Nah, they'd call first.

She swallowed hard. Whoever they were, they were getting closer to the door. She thought to call for Betsy, but then she decided that as an X-Man she should face an intruder. So she turned toward the door and spoke.

"Who the hell is out there? I'm not alone in here, you jerk!"

Keys. In the door. Turning the lock. Opening it...

Jubilee stiffened. She honestly didn't know if she was prepared for a fight or not.

The door swung open, and she gasped.

It was Logan.

He came home!

And he was home days earlier than he'd planned. One look and she knew he had done so just for her. After he set his dripping bags down, and shut the door to the rainy weather, he stood up straight and exhaled. They stared at each other, with expressions like mirror images; relief, anguish, apprehension... love.

There before him was the young lady that had been swirling around in his thoughts for days now. In her Miss Piggy fuzzy slippers, and her Nine Inch Nails Baby Tee and some old, holey, dingy, loose sweat pants. She was an absolute vision.

Jubilee swallowed hard, and he could smell the tears brewing inside of her before her eyes even started glistening.

"Amiko was all ri... I had some... paperwo..." Logan began, "I caught an earlier flight," was the only coherent thing that came out of his mouth.

They stood there for a moment, still staring, unsure what to do next. She knew he was worried about her, but he was also not as good at expressing and dealing with emotions as Remy was. He was probably going to be paralyzed with fear just trying to talk to her about 'things' later.

Logan finally moved forward a step, turning his empty palms toward her. Jubilee's hands went slack and she dropped the Doritos bag to the floor. Her voice caught in her throat.

"Logan."

"Darlin', I'm so sorry that... I wasn't here. That I haven't been..."

That was all the incentive she needed. She ran to him, and leapt into his waiting, if not drenched, arms. They held each other closer than ever before. And for a while, that's all they could do.

Jubilee's face was buried in his neck, and she had a tenacious hold on the wet collar of his leather jacket in her small hands. She felt like her fingers may break, but she squeezed it even tighter.

"You came home for me. You came home..." It was all she could manage to say, so she kept repeating it.

"Shhhh, Darlin', I'm right here." Logan closed his eyes tight as he finally felt some relief. As long as her face was hidden from his view, then his was from hers, and she wouldn't know how scared he'd actually been for her. He was doing fine containing it until the moment he had seen her. But once she was in his sights, his resolve melted. He became a man not of adamantium, but pudding.

Jubilee started crying. Not sobbing out of control, or giving in like she had with Remy the night 'it' happened. She was doing nothing more than satisfying the stress at having to wait for Logan's return.

***

Over the course of two and a half hours, they had gotten four phone calls from the mansion, checking up on her. All of them were diverted to the answering machine. Including Jean's little speech: "I'm trying not to scan things over there too closely Jubilation, because I know your preference for seclusion as of late... but I know you are not alone, young lady, and I know Remy isn't there with you, because he is up here with Rogue... and I know that whoever is with you is a man, and I know-" Thankfully, the machine cut her off. After an entire six-pack (of which Logan had 5 and a half cans, and Jubilee had 3 sips), and especially after talking their tongues tired, Jubilee was starting to get sleepy. She dozed off on Logan's shoulder where they had settled on the couch. He picked her up and carried her to Remy's bed.

"Has that shiftless Cajun been sleepin' in the same room as you, Darlin'?" Logan asked gruffly as he gave her the bear and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Wolvie..." she giggled, "He's been sleeping in this same bed as me."

"What?! The first night he brought ya here, I know about that... but all this time now... He's been in here for that long?"

"Jesus! Calm down, Logan. Sleeping, I said, and nothin' else but! It's only been three days! An' there's only the one bed. Don't get any funny ideas, Old Man." She frowned at him. "I have nightmares. They can get pretty bad, and I still flip out now and again. You would rather he wasn't within arm's reach and then I'd have to scream to get him in here?"

He looked away from her vivid blue eyes and pouted a little. "No... I guess not."

She smirked. "Jealous much, Wolvie?"

He looked at her and grinned, finally, and shook his head at his absurd accusations.

"Besides..." she said quietly, "You weren't here. If you had been, it would've been you, right?"

"Yeah... But I'd have slept in a chair."

"Boring," she rolled her eyes, "How very."

"Well... you ain't thirteen anymore, Darlin'."

She almost gawked at his near admission to ... what?

Sexual tension? Yeah, right Lee. Get a grip....

She recovered quickly. "Damn straight. And I'm so glad you finally noticed."

He rubbed his face. "God... I'm sorry, Jubes..."

She yawned, closing her eyes and curling into a ball with the stuffed animal. "Logan, stop it. Your dance card has been filled up for awhile now. I got used to it."

He frowned, fighting back the anger. His voice was quiet, and deadly serious. "That isn't an excuse. Bottom line, I have a responsibility towards you, and I screwed that up."

She opened her eyes again, and looked at his face in the dark. He was hurting over this, and she wasn't reacting very nicely. She reached a hand out from under the covers and took one of his, squeezing it firmly. "I'm a little... um..." she concentrated, trying to find the right words.

"Wolvie... I appreciate that you came back so soon, I mean I love it that ya did... and I know yer hurtin' over what's happened. But please, don't take this flippant 'tude of mine as somethin' personal." She let go his hand and snuggled under the covers again. "The wounds are fresh. I'm just bein' overprotective of myself, that's all."

"Yeah, but... yer protectin' yerself from everyone, includin' me, Jubes... an' I hate it. I feel like I drove ya to it."

"Hey, Wolvie... I'm on my way back, ya know? Just gimme some time, okay?" She gave him a small, tired smile.

He leaned over, close to her face, and pulled the covers up around her neck.

"Okay, Darlin'. Jes remember that I'm waitin' here for ya. I'm not goin' anywhere until we get things back on track," he whispered. "You mean too much to me."

She smiled, slowly. "That's good to hear. I know how you hate admittin' that stuff, but... It's real good to actually hear it."

"Night, Jubes," he whispered, kissing her forehead and standing up. "I'm gonna scare up some grub, and then I'll..." he paused. "I'll be here, okay?"

"Okay, Wolvie..." she said, and with that she drifted off.

When he walked back into the living room, Logan sank onto the couch and buried his face in his rough hands. He was finally shedding the tears he could no longer keep hidden inside him.

He ate a few egg rolls and a cold turkey leg, then he cleaned up and changed into a T-shirt and some sweat pants. Logan crawled into the free side of the Cajun's bed, very careful not to disturb Jubilee.

Or touch her.

 

five

Too Old For Tickling

 

It was the same tree and the same hat. She had newer sneakers, but, for all intents and purposes, they looked the same now as they had every other time they had sat under these branches. They had relaxed here, talked, laughed, cried; even slept. This tree knew them as well as they knew each other.

They only difference was that Jubilee was older. She didn't look much different; she didn't even act very different. But there was a presence in her, something placid that had been growing in her steadily since her days with Bastion. Logan thought the nervous breakdown of a few months earlier would have quelled her fears, much like a release of pressure, so that she could go back to being jubilant Jubilee. But it hadn't... in fact, this strange, steady nature had only gotten stronger. She still goofed off, and watched movies, and shopped, and eagerly anticipated his and LeBeau's affection and company, that was the same as always... but there was something different in her.

He wasn't at all sure it had anything to do with hiding her feelings until she had blown up. It was something else. And it was rather unsettling to Logan.

She had moved out of the boathouse and gave Remy back his sorely-missed privacy. 'So many dates, mon ami; So little space wit de petite!', Logan could hear Gumbo's words clearly in his head. He smiled to himself. Remy loved Jubes deeply, but he loved his bachelor lifestyle too. And this being an 'off' week with Rogue wasn't helping.

Living at the school was no longer an option, and she was an adult, so the decision was Jubilee's own. She decided to move back into the mansion to become a real X-Man ... again, in some people's eyes; for the first time in other's.

"Hey, Wolvie."

"What?" His hat was slunk down, and his eyes were hidden. But she knew he wasn't sleeping.

"Where does virgin wool come from?"

"Hell if I know, Jubes. Where?"

"Ugly sheep!" She guffawed, and fell over. He tilted his head to watch her laugh.

"Whadda' card you are, kid."

"Hey! I asked you to stop callin' me that."

"Jubes, it don't mean I think you are a little girl, it's just what I like callin' ya, that's all. Don't get sore." He gave her a lopsided smile.

She grinned back at him, crossing her legs and leaning against his massive shoulder. "So how old am I, Wolvie? Do ya even know?"

He glared at her playfully.

"Yes, I know."

She waited. Nothing.

"Well?!?" She sounded exasperated.

"Heh..." He loved making her squirm. "Yer gonna be 17 years old, Darlin'."

"Oh, Wolvie..." she sighed, disappointed.

"What?! I thought ya wanted ta be an old woman!"

She punched him in his arm, wincing at the pain from his metal bones. She would never learn to stop doing that. "Older, I said, not old," she scolded, "An' I'm gonna be 19, not 17!"

Logan pushed his hat up with his index finger slyly. "19? Really? I'm sorry Jubes... I shoulda known that."

She smiled at him. "Well, at least you remember the day, when it comes... If you're around, that is..."

"Come on now, Jubes; even when I wasn't near ya, I always remembered it. I sent ya somethin', or came back with somethin', didn't I?"

"Yep," she smirked. Still, she couldn't resist getting another dig in.

"Well... 'cept for my 17^th, when you were off with Kitty. Ya forgot that time... but I understood that one. Kitty means a lot to you." She looked down and rubbed her sneaker against a protruding root. "You two go back further than me an' you do, anyways."

"Jubes..." Logan said quietly, turning slightly against the tree to face her. "What's wrong, Darlin'?" The hurt tone in his voice made her immediately regret what she had said.

"I'm sorry, Logan, that was unfair. I just..." she paused, searching for the words. "Are we losing touch?"

Logan wrapped an arm around Jubilee's shoulder and pulled her close against him.

My God, she can't be turning 19... She's too small to be 19!

"Why do you think that?"

"Because... " She paused. She almost decided to not say anything more. And he could smell her summoning the courage to do so. "Well, I'm wonderin'... It's always been 'Jubes, the kid, the X-Kid'. I know that the rest of the team - with Gumbo's exception - will always treat me like 'that kid'. Really, I could give a rat's ass how mature they think I am. You're the one I'm concerned about. So much of what we've had together had been based on, you know, 'the Wolverine and his teenage sidekick'. So, how are you gonna look at me now that I am a woman?" She pulled away from him and sat up. "I guess I'm worried."

"You shouldn't be. You're very special to me, dontcha know that girl? I know things weren't goin' too smoothly between us just a bit ago... but we got all that straightened out, right? Geez, Jubilation... No one can compete with you."

"Not as a child, no."

Logan fell silent. Now he understood her anxiety, and she had a point. Amiko was his little girl now, not her... but Jubilee had not yet matured along the lines of Storm or Betsy. She was somewhere in-between them, and could only go the one direction. Their relationship was going to have to evolve sooner or later. He would always protect her, and he knew she would always let him. But that didn't make her a child.

And Jubilation Lee was maturing faster than Logan could keep up with.

'...de Chere be too damn much in love wit you to look at me dat way.'

'She is, isn't she?'

'Yeah, mon ami, So what you gon' do 'bout dat?'

'D'ya mean before or after the rest of the team murders me for returnin' the affection?!'

He and the Cajun had a good laugh about it then. But now... No, he just wouldn't think about it. If he did, he'd start doing things he'd regret - or worse, he'd pull away from her. That could possibly wreck every ounce of the progress she'd ... they'd made.

Still, Logan was determined to make her worries go away. "C'mere," he muttered, smiling and pulling her against him. "Jubes... When I think about all the bad guys out there, and all the stuff that could go wrong, the first thing that pops in my head is makin' sure yer safe. Even if it ain't convenient. Even if it ain't possible, and sometimes it ain't. You just remember that, Darlin'."

She gave him a crooked grin. "Wolvie, I don't want to be missing this someday."

"What's that, Jubes?"

"You and me, bein' close. You takin' care of things."

"There's no danger o' that, kid. Trust me."

He said it, and he believed it with all his heart. But Logan wasn't sure anymore what she meant by 'things'. Or how he had interpreted it.

I'll deal with that if and when I havta, he thought, squeezing her shoulders. If he was backing into the future, so be it. He just couldn't think about it ... yet.

***

The candles on her 19^th birthday cake weren't blown out. The X-Men didn't do that with Jubilee's birthday cake. They played games with them.

Jubes would paf them on, Jean would think them out. Jubes would paf them back on, Ro would blow them out with a cold breeze. Jubes, paf. Drake, freeze. Jubes, paf. Rogue, suck the energy out of them. The whole idea was to not get within 4 feet of the cake and do this over and over again until they either ended up laughing hysterically, ruining the cake and eating the reserve one... or Logan got fed up waiting for the stupidity to end, and sliced the candles down to the frosting. Logan won out this year.

They ate cheeseburgers and fries and milkshakes and Cappuccino, Jubes' favorite balanced dinner. Three of the four Food Groups were represented; Grease, Salt and Caffeine.

Logan gave her a new baseball mitt, a box of Godiva chocolates (Ah! The last Food Group, she noted happily), and a Harley Davidson motorcycle helmet, Jean and Scott gave her gift certificates to the mall, Storm got her an exotic hand-made hair clip for her now-longer hair, the Professor, being the most intelligent, sweated no decision by just giving her cash. Remy and Rogue went in together, of course, and got her a new leather coat ... in sophisticated Navy Blue. Remy picked it out, and wasted no time telling everyone.

"I pick de coat out, Petite. Rogue don' got no fashion sense."

"Hey!" she slapped him on the arm. She rolled her eyes and turned back to Jubilee. "We hope ya like it, Shugah."

"Are you kidding? It's leather!" She beamed at them.

The party went on for hours, and they broke up into groups, reforming and mingling to play pool, watch movies, scream and laugh in the kitchen, eat, drink and be merry.

After they finished watching The Sixth Sense, Jubilee got up to eject the DVD. She noticed that everyone but her and Logan had gone to bed. He was on the couch, dozing. She thought to wake him up with a sneaky, harmless paf, but decided that doing that in the dark was not a very good idea. He might come to and stick her with his claws, like he'd done to Rogue all those years ago.

Naaaaah, she thought, that's baby stuff anyways.

So she crept up to him, pulled a blanket down from a chair back, and covered him up. She leaned over and re-formed a point in his hair, kissed him on the cheek, and went upstairs to shower and hit the sack.

It had been a really good day.

***

Jubilee opened the top drawer of her dresser, and got out a t-shirt and pair of string bikinis to sleep in. She slipped the clothes on, and toweled her clean, wet hair off a little more. Then she opened the middle drawer to get out a pair of anklets for her chilly feet. There before her, on top of the balled-up socks, was a wrapped present in plain white paper with a white bow. She smiled softly.

He remembered!

This was where Logan had always stashed stuff that was for her eyes only. His middle dresser drawer was the same safe spot for her. They left each other things like notes, candy, incriminating Polaroids of the other X-Men - little things that were just between the two of them. The cardinal sin was talking about it. They never did that. Logan sometimes left her trinkets from a mission he'd gone on without her, just so that she didn't feel left out. This was all back when she was living at the mansion, of course, before life at the school had taken her away.

She sat on the edge of her bed with the present and smiled, removing the white paper carefully. This was not a wooden lemur statue from Madagascar, or a coin from India. This was an adult gift. The light blue shade of the box under the paper gave it all away. It was from Tiffany's.

Her heart in her throat, Jubilee opened it slowly.

Oh, man... this is beautiful!

The box held a necklace, a thin snake chain in white gold. There was a single pendant on it, set with a princess-cut blue sapphire and two small diamonds above and below the larger stone. It was very simple, very balanced... and very pretty. Jubes thought she was going to cry.

She was stunned, no one had ever given her anything like this. The knock at the door didn't even register the first time. The second knock was accompanied by Logan's low, quiet voice calling her name.

"Come in..." she murmured. Her eyes were lost in the facets.

He popped his head in the doorway, and looked at her sitting on the bed. She was transfixed on the necklace.

I did well, then.

Logan came in and shut the door behind him. He walked up to her bed and stood in front of her. Jubes finally smiled and looked up at him.

"Logan..." she whispered, "It's beautiful..."

"Aw... don't go all mushy on me, Jubilation."

She looked back down at the necklace, wondering when the feeling was going to come back to her legs.

"I know this is breakin' the rules an' all... Talkin' bout what's in the dresser drawer. But I got the snake chain cuz I told the lady you were a gymnast and ya needed a stronger one, so she said ta get the shorter one too if you was jumping around a lot, and..." He was babbling. Logan sighed. He was never very good at this stuff. "I just want ya to know that if you don't like it, we can take it back and exch-"

She leapt to her feet and threw her arms around his neck. "No! Never!" She clutched at his shirt and squeezed him tight. Logan smiled and placed his hands on her back. Her wet hair dangled down and tickled his huge knuckles.

"Happy birthday, Jubes. Yer a lady now."

"Thank you, Wolvie," she said, covering his cheek with many small, excited kisses, "Thank you thank you thank you! I'll wear it always!" She hugged him again.

"Geez, Jubes... Lets put it on ya first, ta see how ya like it."

"Oh, I'll love it, I just know it!"

"Quiet down, willya? You'll wake the whole house up."

"Oooh, yeah. Sorry," she whispered, still excited. She handed the box to Logan and turned her back to him, lifting her hair up. She danced in place and made an eeee noise while she waited for him to get the necklace out of the box and unhook the clasp.

"Now, hold still. Yer actin' like a puppy that won't sit for her collar."

"Yes, yes!"

He brought the necklace around her front, somehow managing to get his massive hand through the crook in her arm as she held up her hair. The clasp was so small compared to his fingers, he thought he wasn't going to get it closed, but he did. Then he took her hand away from her hair. "'Kay... go have yerself a look-see."

She skipped over to the mirror and her eyes lit up. "Oh, wow! I told ya I'd love it!"

Logan stood behind her and pulled the rest of her hair away from her shoulders. "Aw, Darlin'..." he was actually misting up, "Ya look so beautiful." He grinned.

"Yer the best, Old Man!" She turned around again and hugged him. Logan gaped a little and tried to avert his eyes from the mirror, but found he had some difficulty in doing so. With her arms thrown around his neck, Jubes was dangling from him, and her string-bikinied backside was hanging out below her T-shirt. And he got a nice view of it in the mirror.

Wolverine had to admit it... She'd filled out, and right nice.

19 year-old Jubilation Lee had a great ass.

***

"Beautiful day, ain't it boys?" Jubilee gave a friendly shout as she and Rogue passed Logan and LeBeau on the jogging trail. Quickly. They giggled too loud for the comfort of the men.

The girls looked all fresh and pretty with their hair in cute, high ponytails and tight biking shorts over big white T-shirts. The look was topped off with new, white sneakers. They noticed the girls smelled real damn good, too. Jubilee's necklace was out, and it glistened in the morning sunlight as it bounced around. Logan smiled softly. He had picked out a nice piece of jewelry, but more importantly, she liked what he picked. That part made him feel great.

Jubilee turned, and jogged backwards. "Hey! S'matter fellas? Us girls too fast for you old men?" She grinned evilly. She turned back around. Remy and Logan were already thirty steps behind them and the gap was getting wider.

Rogue turned and said her part. "We understahn'; it's not that you big guys are slow or nuthin'. Not fo' yor ages, anyway." She smiled brightly turned back around.

"Ooooh! Harsh, Rogue!" Jubilee whispered.

"Ah know, Shugah. But ah don't believe it was quite enough ta distract them propahly."

Jubilee scoffed. "Yeah? Well watch this!"

Jubilee turned again. "Maybe you need a booster rocket, huh?" She threw a few well directed pafs that glided quickly to the muscular men's backsides.

Rogue screamed with laughter and the women were off and running before the plasma had even burst. It ended up doing no more than heating up their tired butts, but the two 'old men' were now hot on their tails.

"We ain't gotta put up with that crap from the two of them! They're just girls!"

"Dey got no respect for de men dat take care o' dem! Dey are wicked femmes!"

"If I gotta go berserker to catch her, I will. She is so gonna get the strap for that!" Logan growled, sprinting to life.

"Yeah ... an' Gambit gon' help hol' her down!"

***

Rogue and Jubilee darted into the edge of the woods, in full view of the boys.

"Shugah, Ah think we need ta split up!"

"Okay," Jublilee gasped, "Good luck!"

She'd been trying to get Rogue and LeBeau alone together for a while now, just for some harmless fun. Jubilee was intent on getting the Cajun and their team leader hitched. She knew, in her heart, that sooner or later Rogue would learn to control her powers, or Beast would come up with a viable inhibitor. She wanted to see Remy happy... and that was only going to happen with Rogue.

Little did she know that today's lesson in teasing a man was being played on her...

"Ooof!" Rogue coughed, as LeBeau tripped her and caught her carefully by her waist, her T-shirt protecting his hands from any actual contact.

"Remy LeBeau, you rotten scoundrel! Ah nearly fell on mah bottom!" She giggled and wrapped her gloved hands around his neck.

"Non, Chere; Gambit always catch you..." he drawled, speaking quietly to her, close to her face. His eyes glistened with love for this girl, and he had no way of hiding it.

"Ah take it Logan figured out that we split up, Shugah?"

"Yeah, he smell de petite gon' a differnt 'way right off, an' tol' me to go an' give you de big spankin'," he grinned suggestively.

"A spankin'! Now that sounds like a grand time!" Rogue giggled again and he stood up straight, lifting her off the ground by her butt, no less. Remy was wise to wear his full length spandex pants that morning, as her bare legs brushed against them while she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Non, girl; Gambit got better tings ta do wit your beaut'ful... firm... round..." he smiled, lacking the words, as his hands wrapped themselves around her tighter.

"Why yes, Ah do buhlieve Ah like that better, Remy," she said with a whisper.

"Chere..." he whispered, "You know you are like de air to me..." His face was dangerously close to hers, never touching, but fully sharing all that he felt. After years of practice, they knew exactly what they could and could not get away with. They still fought, they still called everything off, then back on, they still had trouble dealing with each other's pasts. But they also found ways around the emotional barriers as well as the physical ones. They were in love, no matter how many off weeks they were having.

"Remy..." she whispered dreamily, her breath tickling his lips. "Shugah, you know Ah'd love to jus stay here an' do nuthin but this all day... But don't we have ourselves a little game to watch...?"

"Oui, Chere," he groaned, "Until later, den," he said quietly, letting her body slide off his in a deliciously slow fashion. "After all, if we don' help dem, dey are never gon' to have de happiness dat we do, no?" He grinned boyishly at her and she grabbed his hand in her gloved one, pulling him to the edge of the trees.

"Puh-leaze," Rogue drawled with a teasing quality, "Ah'd hope for better than that fo' them."

LeBeau laughed quietly and followed her as they snuck through the woods, being careful to stay downwind of the direction Logan had been headed.

***

Logan turned sharply into a line of trees, and came to a complete stop. Somehow he had managed to get in front of her strong scent, a mixture of sweat, fear, excitement - and mostly joy. Jubes did love being chased when it was all for fun. He grinned, and waited for her to turn the corner into the field before him. He perched, totally still, feeling his heart pounding in his throat.

Then she came into his view, right on time, sprinting just past him and frantically, foolishly, looking behind her with a huge smile on her face. She never even saw him coming from the side, right out of the tree line. Logan leapt, and growled. She screamed hysterically when she realized he was less than ten feet behind her. He stared her down like a lion does a gazelle, and he grit his teeth into a nasty, frightening smile.

"Oh, shit!" Jubilee yelped, laughing, "I'm in for it now!"

***

From the other side of the field, Remy and Rogue watched with anticipation. He laid his large hand on her shoulder as he crouched behind her.

***

"You got that right, kiddo!" Logan growled back at her.

Jubilee knew she could not out-run him, he was set on catching her. So she did the only thing she could. Stopping on a dime, she raised her hands in a defensive position and let two blobby plasma bombs drift out of her fingers. Logan stopped short of her, by about five feet, and assumed a battle-ready position.

He grinned, watching as the blasts hovered just in front of her palms, obeying her every command. She bit her lower lip and smiled at him with her eyes. Her control over her mutant capabilities had graduated to that of a tightly coiled spring. If he wasn't so intent on getting her to the ground and tickling away every ounce of her reserve, he would have told her how proud he was of her accomplishments.

"I mean it Wolvie, I'll pop 'em, I totally will," the last words coming out as a semi-frightened giggle. Her chest was heaving dramatically after running so hard, and he couldn't help but notice that her T-shirt was clinging to her in all the right places and her legs were shiny with sweat. She was so cute, her bright blue eyes gleaming while she smiled like an idiot. Feral thoughts began invading his head...

"Oh you will, huh?! Do it, Jubes, and I'll tickle you with these!"

Snikt!

Logan raised his fist, and three sharp metal claws gleamed in the sunlight.

He grinned, popping and raising the other set. She grinned back, raising an eyebrow. The tension was so thick, even the two mutants hiding downwind in the trees could feel it.

***

"Oooooh, Remy, Shugah... Ah ain't never seen such a look on Logan's face! Ah hope he catches her soon!"

LeBeau laughed quietly. "Yeah, Chere... Dis gon' be one for de books, no?"

***

Logan took a quick step forward, giving her a growl. She yelped, "Ohman-ohman-ohman-ohman-ohman," sending the plasma towards his face. She laughed and turned away, running off.

Logan's smile dropped, and he raised his hands to his face protectively. He could not believe she had paffed him! She knew how badly that hurt him, and these were not tiny balls of plasma, either! They were huge - they could blow his head off!

"Jubilee, call 'em off Darlin'! Yer gonna kill me!" he yelled after her, getting angrier as all he heard was her laughter. What was wrong with her? Had she suddenly become an evil mutant?

The pafs bounced gently into his head, and he started. Then they floated to just above him. He retracted his claws and stood there covering himself with his arms as best he could, expecting the worst.

How could she do this to me?!? Why?!

He clamped his eyes shut and held his breath.

Then he heard it. It was quiet. It didn't go BOOM. It didn't even go bang. It went 'fisssss'. And just as Logan opened his eyes to see why, hot sticky water poured over his head, flattening his hair and dripping down his back and shoulders.

"Aw, God dammitt! yuck!" He spat, brushing the wet hair from his face and rubbing his eyes. The water had a distinct taste. It was her.

***

"Mah gawd, Remy! Now he's really gonna kill her!"

***

He looked up to see Jubes standing about thirty feet in front of him, laughing hysterically.

"Now, how in the hell didja do that?" He wiped his forehead and flicked the water away disgustedly.

"How to Better Control the Content of Your Paf Through Mental Telepathy, 101." She put a fingernail in her mouth and jutted a hip sarcastically. "Last thing Frosty taught me 'fore the school was out, dude. Seems my pafs are nothing more than extensions of my own thought patterns. An' believe it or not, there's more than just explosions and chaos up here." She patted her temple with the point of her index finger. Jubilee suddenly wheezed, bending over and holding her sides. "Man, Wolvie ... ya looked like you were gonna pee yer pants! Hahahahhaaa!!"

He snorted. "Lee, you are so dead."

Before she even had time to stand up straight and open her watery eyes, he was diving at her. Jubes yelped as he grabbed her by the waist and took her down into the tall grass. He landed with a thud on his side, and she with him, firmly held against his chest. He never even let her touch the ground.

Jubilee giggled furiously. Logan quickly flipped her over onto her back, laughing evilly, and straddled her. He pinned her arms to her sides with his thighs.

"Ya think yer cute, dontcha kid?!" His ran his thick fingers all over her slender abdomen and hips, tickling her in all the spots he could reach that he knew were sensitive. Jubilee tried to bend her knees, but found it a useless gesture against the weight of his backside, which hovered just above her. She cringed as he went for her chin, behind the ears, along her neck, everywhere. She squealed joyously, squirming underneath him, but not really trying to get away.

Breathlessly she begged him, pleaded for him to stop. He complied momentarily, hands lurking suspiciously above her tummy.

"Tell me yer sorry, ya little brat!" He grinned, "Tell me or we can sit here all day!"

"Ok! Ok," she wheezed finally, looking up at him laughing with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered, then fell to giggling again with her eyes shut, "I'm so sorry that yer all wet!" Jubilee just laughed uproariously, making him want to torture her further.

"Why you little..." he started. Then he grabbed his soaking wet hair, and rung it out over her face. "I'll give you all wet, little girl," he snarled.

She shook her head from side to side, uselessly trying to avoid the stream. He stopped, putting his fists on his hips defiantly, and looked down at her.

Her eyes flipped open, blinking back the warm water. She sputtered through clenched lips, and gave him a disgusted look.

"Eh?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and giving her a 'now you're all wet' look. "Don't seem so funny now, does it? Hahahaaaa!" His steel thighs finally relaxed and she managed to get her hands out from where he had pinned them. Jubilee got to her elbows and pushed on his chest as hard as she could. He barely even moved.

"Let me sit up, you big oaf!" she laughed, wiping her eyes.

***

"Remy, move ovah! I cain't see 'em!"

***

Logan backed up a few inches, smiling, as Jubilee pulled her legs out from underneath him. "Yer so mean, Wolvie," she cried, feigning despair.

"Oh, God! Please!" He guffawed. "You started it! Can't ya take it when it gets back to ya? Ya big baby!" He laughed. She looked at him smiling wide, eyes shining and cheeks all pink from being tickled. She was so cute...

Logan stood up. Jubilee pushed a wet lock behind her ear and got to her knees, taking the hand he offered and rose to meet him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, smiling. Despite the chilly morning air, her body was steaming hot through the T-shirt from all the exertion.

But... it was not enough for her. He had gotten her back too well, and her ego needed appeasement. "Well, what about you?" She shrieked, trying to tickle him back. Logan just stood there like a statue. She tried in all the same places, and all he did was raise his hands in the air slightly, letting her try anywhere she wished for a reaction.

"It ain't gonna do no good, Darlin'. I grew out of that a long, long time ago." He said softly, smiling. Her small hands ran all over his him, and while he wasn't reacting the way she would have liked, he liked the way he was reacting.

"Ohhhh!" she yelled, stomping her little feet on the ground. "It's not fair! You have too much of an advantage!"

"I know."

He eyed her, his expression - and his teeth - gleaming, like an animal on the prowl, again. Jubilee's face fell, and she realized he was about to give it to her all over again. "Oh no you don't."

"Oh yes... I do."

She sprang away from him, but was too slow, as the hairy beast grabbed her and took her down to the grass again. This time he let her fight back a little, just because he wanted to.

***

"Hoo-yaw! Rogue, de petite gon' to get it again!"

"Shhhhh! Remy! He'll hear ya. Don't disturb 'em now; not when we're fahnally gettin' somewhere."

They heard Jubilee squeal with laughter. Rogue eyed the grass carefully, watching for the tell-tale signs of clothing flying through the air, and feminine feet sticking up above the grass. She held her breath, excited for them both.

***

"Logan," she gasped, laughing, "Wolvie, please, stop it!"

"No chance in hell, kid!" Kneeling before her, he went for her neck, she moved to stop him; then he went for her knees, she reached down too late for that. Every spot he picked, she was too late because he just went for a new one.

"I'll pass out," she wheezed, and giggled, "I can't-"

Suddenly he found his mouth on hers, cutting off her words and kissing her hard, and deep. He wrapped his arms around her torso, and his palms flattened against her back as he sat her up against him. Shocked, she inhaled sharply, then moaned and fell into his clutches, kissing him back. Jublilee ran her hands through his damp hair, gripping it roughly at the nape of his neck. Logan released her from the kiss, growling. She breathed in slowly, taking in his scent. Eau De Wolverine. It made her head swim.

Not that her own odor wasn't doing the same thing to him. She still smelled like Jubilee, his Jubes... but the new chemicals she gave off were intoxicating. Pheromones... hers. There was desire in her now, and the frightening lure of the unknown.

He pulled her back to him, trying to get her mouth even closer to his than it already was. His lips opened, and his tongue gently slid into her mouth. It was the slightest intrusion, soft and warm, but she reacted immediately. Her back arched and she pushed her hips towards his. Jubilee slid one hand down to the back of his shoulder, first clutching the sweaty T-shirt, then digging her nails into his muscles slightly.

He broke the kiss again, whispering her name and softly biting her neck.

"Wolvie," she whispered back. He could tell by the shaky quality to her voice that she was totally his now. "Please, Logan... kiss..."

He growled again, and smiled as he gave her what she asked for. He reached down and hooked two massive fingers into the bend of her knee. Her leg lifted higher under his eager tugging, as though it was weightless. He suddenly tossed it behind him and ran his palm under her thigh. His mouth was devouring hers, and Jubilee whimpered at his touch. Matching what she prayed was his gut reactions, she was going on pure instinct now, listening only to her heart beating wildly as it told her to keep him as close as possible.

And as quickly as it all started, it stopped.

He ripped his lips from hers. Logan still held her fiercely, but now a terrified expression crept over his face. She opened her heavy lidded eyes, nearly out of breath. Jubilee pulled on his neck, with a look in her eyes that only said 'more'.

Logan abruptly pushed her off of his lap, then stood up. Jubilee looked up at him, startled. He clenched and unclenched his fists and glared at her - but with a sad look on his face. Kneeling, she shook her head, confused. Logan backed away another two steps, staring at her in disbelief. The worry set into her almost immediately, powerful and devastating to the young woman. Especially since the look on the face in front of her was coming from the man she loved.

"What..." she said, almost in tears, "Did I do something wrong?"

He shook his head, but even he was not sure what it was he was denying. He remained silent; and that silence did more to hurt her than anything else. She got to her knees, and he backed away yet again.

"Logan, please!" Jubilee cried, tears already flowing. "Say something to me!"

She stood up finally, and reached out a shaking hand to him, intending to close the painful gap. He took a few more steps back, still only shaking his head, glancing at her outstretched hand then back at her face.

"Stay far away from me, kid. This ain't right."

His voice was like steel; cold, hard and quiet. He turned from her and bolted.

Jubliee stood perfectly still, shocked, hurt, confused, ashamed... and a whole list of other things. Her mind reeled.

Didn't I react right? Or is it the age thing? God Dammit, Lee!! What is wrong with you?

She breathed faster and faster, saying "No no no no no no!" Then she ran off in the opposite direction.

***

Remy sighed, standing up straight. Rogue stood up next to him, placing her gloved hands on his chest, then wrapped her arms around him over his T-shirt.

"Oh, Remy," she groaned, "That didn't go at all well..."

LeBeau exhaled again, rubbing her back in soothing circles.

"Merde."

six

You're Getting Pretty Good At This, Logan

"He is goin', he just tol' me." Remy said, dropping himself onto Rogue's bed and leaning over, his forehead in his palms. "Oh, Chere..."

"Aw, Remy..." Rogue sat next to him, the blood draining from her face. "Has he tol' Jubes? Or is he jes gonna run off an' let her find out by accident?" There was a bitter quality to her voice, one that made him think the Danger Room was where she wanted to discuss this with Logan. "That Gawd-awful coward."

"Non, he tol' her." Remy raised his face, sitting back up and then letting himself fall back onto her bed. He looked tired and worried. "Gambit not seen de petite look like dat, not ever before, Chere. Her face ... it look defeated. She not cry one tear when he tol' her."

"That ain't good, Remy. Ah don't like that." Rogue leaned over and placed a gloved hand on his stomach. "Jubilee's gonna start bottlin' it all up again. She's gonna lose it, fo sure."

"I know, Chere," he sighed, out of ideas, "I know..."

***

Jubilation Lee sat on the backyard stairs to the mansion, the old brick ones, watching him pack his bike up. Every now and then he looked over at her, smiling quietly. She returned the same tight, restrained smile.

She wasn't mad at him, not necessarily. She just didn't see the reasoning behind his choice. Or at least, she didn't agree with it. But she would be damned if she wasn't going to sit there, every second, letting him know she was there... watching him do this to her, all over again.

He finished securing his last bag, and sauntered up to sit next to her on the top step. Her arms were wrapped around her knees, bringing her whole body in close. She thought to change her position, perhaps take on a more lady-like air.

No, you ain't gonna do that, Lee. This is how you like to sit. Who cares if you are small and it makes you look even smaller? Or even younger? That's someone else's problem. Isn't it?

Logan pulled out a stogie, and looked sideways at her.

"Gimme a light, kiddo?"

"Don't call me that anymore."

"Sorry," he said quietly, truly meaning it. He leaned a little closer to put a reassuring hand on her back, trying not to think about the last time his hand was there. Suddenly a paf shot into the tip of his cigar. She hadn't even moved. Logan backed away reflexively, moving his hand from where it had been hovering over her back.

He took a drag, the end of the cigar glowing with her fire, and exhaled, clearing his lungs. The smoke floated gently and away from them, across the grass towards the trees.

It was an unnervingly still evening. There was no breeze, the sun had set and twilight was just getting started. It was cool, no insects bothered them. The sun wasn't in their eyes, the sky was free of clouds, and even the wildlife was fairly quiet. Normally, they would have been in their prime with this weather, sitting under their tree or by the lake, not even talking, just content that the other was near.

But not tonight. The stillness was just another barrier, focusing their thoughts on the 'problem'... the problem that belonged to both of them.

Logan sat back a little. Jubilee was not going to volunteer the conversation this time. If he wanted to know anything about how she felt about what had happened in the field, he was going to have to ask her. And he wasn't going to do that. And he knew that she was perfectly aware of that as well.

He was a coward.

And it hurt her even further, knowing that this was such an easy thing to do compared to fighting Creed, and he wouldn't even try.

The time wore on, she rested her head on her knees, rocking herself, trying to soothe out the rattled nerves. He stared at her little form; she wasn't going to get any taller, or any bigger. She had been a small girl and now she was a small woman.

Woman. Got that dude? Woman. She's a woman.

Logan exhaled... Normally, if she was nervous, or frightened, or happy or confused or wicked... Hell, any emotion she hit upon; she would be hugging him now, not her knees. She only hugged her knees when he wasn't available for her emotional tirades. He assumed this was her way of telling him that she was aware that he wasn't available.

"It's time, Jubes... I got ta go." He rubbed a hand on her back affectionately. She wouldn't push him off now, would she? Not when he was actually leaving again... Telling her goodbye. Driving off without her. Seeing the hurt, scared look in her eyes. Feeling her eyes on his back as he drove away.

Abandoning her...

He shook off the guilt like water on a duck. She stood up then, and he did the same, facing her with a relieved smile. She was going to give him a hug and kiss, after all. Just a hug and a kiss, platonic ones, that was all he wanted.

"Aww, Firecracker... C'mere, girl." He smiled wide and moved to take her in his huge embrace.

That's when she stuck out her palm, in the classic gesture of good will: the handshake.

Logan almost dropped his cigar, as his jaw fell slightly agape looking at it. His arms drooped down a little, defeated. He looked at her.

"Jubilee...?"

"Good luck Logan, I'm sure I'll see you sometime soon." Her voice wasn't exactly cold, but it sure wasn't warm, either. And it sounded entirely too mature for his peace of mind.

"Jubes... Aintcha gonna hug me?" He swallowed, looking her face over. "I'm goin' away here, and I'm not changin' my mind 'bout it, neither."

"I know that, Wolvie. No one knows it better than I do. But..." she lowered her unaccepted hand, and folded her arms gently across her stomach. "Look, Logan, I'm not gonna ignore this just to make you feel better. Just because this is hard on me doesn't mean it's gonna be easy on you." She breathed out slowly, and he could hear the rattled nerves in her timber as she exhaled. He could smell the controlled tension coming off her. He had perfected his sense of her particular smells so completely, that he could detect even her subtlest moods, the ones she tried to hide from him. He hadn't bothered to do that with anyone else he had ever known, not even Mariko.

"Jubes... I'm sorry. I havta do this."

"Me too," she said quietly. She smiled at him softly, and he found himself waiting for that smile to get bigger, to take over her whole face, then her whole body, until she threw herself at him in a fit of glee. But it never went any further, and he wondered if she would ever again pounce on him that way.

She offered her hand again, and this time he took it. And before she could object, he turned it over gently and brought it up to his lips... getting his kiss goodbye the only way he could; he stole it.

She didn't pull away, and he could detect the faint coursing of blood in her skin as her heart rate increased, and her temperature rose. It was very minimal, probably because she was fighting to control herself. But he still noticed it. Logan was wondering what had happened to her. Why on earth would she want him?

You know damn well what happened, old man. And this ain't some one-sided thing, neither.

She pulled her hand back gently, and brought it up to her pendant, fingering it nervously. She barely got out the next words.

"I don't know which grave you're going to see, Wolvie. But say 'hi' for me, I've no doubt she'll answer. You'll forgive me if I don't stand here like some lost puppy watching you ride off," she said, eyeing him carefully. Then she walked across the porch and opened the back door. She knew it had been cruel, what she had said. She also knew her heart was beating, and strongly; while others weren't any longer.

"Aw, come on Jubilation," he called after her, but she was having none of it. She disappeared from his sight, shutting the door quietly and running away through the back kitchen.

Logan slumped. That was it.

So he grabbed the handle bars on his bike, and walked it out slowly.

He turned to look back at her room, as he had those many years ago. The window to her room revealed the light being flipped on, then the glass panes shook as if the door had been slammed shut. Then the light was off, and that was all she wrote.

He walked his Harley down the path slowly, not wanting a noisy departure making her think he was pissed off at her... Which he wasn't. Nor was he confused, or angry, or sullen.

He knew exactly how he felt.

He finally felt like he was dying.

 

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