Hold My Hand And Don't Say Goodbye Till The End

by Seraph

Warning: There is a little bit of bad language in this chapter. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: By now you should all know that these characters belong to Marvel and not I. I am using them without permission but for entertainment purposes only, I thus make no dosh from this endeavor. What a big surprise that must be to you all. Ergo now that I've told you this, you can't sue me. Go now, read on...enjoy.

Chapter 4

The dead may look after the afterward. But the magnificent here and now of the flesh is ours, and ours alone, and ours for only a time. - D. H. Lawrence.


Everett Thomas looked up at his girlfriend Monet St Croix, "What?"

Monet's expression was sorrowful, "There's been news, Jubilation..."

Everett noticed Monet's tone and his forehead scrunched into a worried furrow, "What's wrong with Jubilee?"

Monet came and sat down beside him, searching he's face for a second, "Paige called, Dr McCoy just told them that Jubilation has a cancerous tumour, it's pressing on her spinal cord, that's why she was having headaches. The tumour is malignant Everett. Dr McCoy said they are going to try and shrink it with Chemotherapy, after that they will have to operate to get rid of it all."

Everett's face had taken on a shocked look and his eyes were distant, "How'd Jubes take it?"

Monet looked at Everett, concerned; "Paige told me that she found out from Logan that she left rather quickly after Hank told her. Paige said, that Hank said that Logan was a bit surprised, I think he expected her to do something else. When Paige tried to go up on the roof and talk to her, she reacted rather violently."

Everett's expression was worried, "I think we should be there, the X-men are nice but we're her family now. They haven't been around her twenty-four seven for a long time, they don't know her anymore, not like we do."

Monet nodded, "Angelo and Jono are talking to Ms Frost and Mr Cassidy now."

Everett nodded and then appeared to crumple a bit, "God Monet, what if she dies?"

Monet drew Everett into her embrace, cradling him against her tightly, "She won't, if I know one thing about Jubilation, it's that she's too stubborn to let a little thing like cancer beat her."

Everett buried he's face in Monet's hair, taking comfort from her presence, it'd been such a shock when he realised he loved her, and an even bigger one when she told him she felt the same way. He smiled as he remembered how scared he'd been about how Jubilee would react. It had been a pleasant surprise when Jubilee had been so happy for them. Everett realised then that Jubilee had been such a big part of his life, he couldn't imagine not having her around. She'd always been there for him, someone to whom he could talk, his best friend.

"It will be okay Everett, it will be," Monet whispered, hoping he couldn't see the doubt in her eyes.

Elsewhere on Campus...

Angelo sat, smoke curling slowly up from the lit cigarette he held.

'What have you gotten into this time Jubicita, seems every time we let you out of our site you go and get hurt,' he thought.

Angelo was not happy; actually not happy would be the understatement of the year. Emma and Sean had decided that it would be better if they didn't all go to the Xavier mansion, saying that having them all there might make it harder on Jubilee, make her have to pretend to be happy for their sakes.

'They don't know you like I do Jube, you need us there, you need me."

Angelo took a drag on his cigarette and puffed the smoke out in a thin stream, the emotions he'd been holding in a weight on his heart, "Damn em',"

Angelo threw the smoke to the ground, crushing it with a foot and fished a pair of keys out of his pocket; he'd grabbed them when Sean wasn't looking. Angelo would be damned if he'd leave Jubilee to face this alone.

Xavier Mansion...

Jubilee let the soil trickle through her fingers, liking the earthy smell that seemed to permeate the area. Storm's garden had always seemed peaceful, a calm settled over anyone that came here, it had always reminded Jubilee of magic. It was a good place to think.

A bird called in the distance and Jubilee rested her head against a tree, things were just so stuffed up. She didn't know how to handle this, didn't know how to process the knowledge that she might die. She'd always felt so immortal, nothing could kill her, if she ever got into trouble then her friends or Wolvie would move heaven and earth to get her out of it, and if they couldn't then she'd get herself out. They couldn't help this time, and no amount of fighting on her part would help either. She felt so damn helpless; she hated feeling helpless, it reminded her of the night of her parent's death.

God, she hated that memory, the blood---so much blood, everywhere, and the knowledge that she would never be safe, that nothing in her world would ever be right, ever again. The X-men and then later Gen-X had made that feeling go away a little, she'd found a new family, Wolvie---God how she loved him, she knew her father would have liked him as well, would've approved of him looking after her. Her father had always been able to recognise the truth about a person behind the surface. It was the thing she'd loved most about her dad.

"Dad, what am I goin' to do? You always said I should fight, should never give in no matter how hard things got. How the hell can I fight this?"

"It is not the reality of the fight, but the will to that is important Jubilation."

Jubilee looked up in surprise; Ororo hovered a few feet above her,


Ororo set down beside Jubilee and sat, leaning her back against the tree, "Life was made for challenges Jubilation, while we cannot always win these challenges by fighting it is the will to do so that is important. Your will to beat this is more important then your ability to do so. Do not give up on yourself so early Jubilation."

"I'm just so tired Ororo, it's like all my life the only thing I've done is fight. When do I get a rest?"

Ororo looked at her young friend with sorrow, "People like us Jubilation, never get to rest, not until we die, maybe not even then."

"Do you think there is anything after Ororo?"

"I cannot say Jubilation, I once thought I was a Goddess but even then I was not sure. There are just some things we will never know until we face them."

"How are the others doing?"

"They each face death in their own way, even if it is only the shadow of death so far."

"Is Wolvie okay?"

"He left a short time ago, Remy is with him."

Jubilee nodded, "I asked him to stay with Logan, I think he might go and do something stupid, he always seems to want to break things when his upset."

"I do not believe that Logan is in any mood to 'break things'. He appeared quite distracted when he left."

"How's Mags?"

Ororo blinked at the change of topic and then smiled, "I believe that was an attempt to change the topic?"

Jubilee grinned, "Got it in one Stormy."

Ororo frowned, "I believe you have also been far to much in the company of our resident Cajun."

Jubilee grinned and winked, "So?"

Ororo smiled, her eyes settling into an almost dreamy expression, "He is fine, he called last night and shall be home quite soon. He has been having some problems with Genosha. The man he appointed to lead there has been having a little trouble settling into the role."

"Have you told him yet?"

Ororo sighed, "No, I wish to wait until he returns home. I am not sure how he will react."

"Ororo, he's going to be absolutely chuffed."

Ororo laughed, soft and musical to Jubilee ears, "I am not quite so sure he will be 'chuffed'. He has always seemed so worried about bringing a child into this world, especially with the way things are now."

"Erik'll be cool with it Ororo, you'll see. He loves you."

A Bar...

Remy went about the task of watching Logan try and drink himself into oblivion, the fact that he's healing power circumvented this, seemed to be lost on Logan at this moment in time.

"Mon ami, this does nothin'."

"Shut up Cajun, either pull up a beer or fuck off."

"This will not help the petite, this is the time she needs you and you be here, tryin' to get drunk. Rather pointless, non?"

"I don't need a lecture from you Gumbo."

"Remy t'inks you need a lecture from someone, if this the way you treat someone you love like a daughter, Remy hate to t'ink how you would treat a real one."

Logan turned and death-glared Remy; "You're walking a thin line Gumbo."

"It be nothin' but de truth, the petite need you wit' her, not here."

"There ain't nothin' I can do for her Gumbo, maybe it would've been better if she'd never met me, maybe..."

"I can't believe you're blamin' yourself for tis'. You t'ink' you suddenly a God, that you can just give people cancer by bein' near em'. I t'ink you give yourself to much credit Mon ami."

"Everyone that's ever been near me has died Gumbo, everyone."

"We still here, we been near you for a long while now and we still here."

"Shut up."

"No Mon ami, Remy not gonna let you leave this time. Every time the petite, she needs you, you run away. What kind of man runs away when the person that love them need them most? Maybe you tell me, non-?"

Logan reached out and clasped Remy around the neck lifting him up off the seat and growled, "I ain't runnin' away Cajun, Jubilee's better off without me, I can't help her."

"Non, you can help her. She need you near, she need to know you're der for her to lean on. The petite, she always t'inkin' she need be strong for everyone, she need be like you. You don' show it when you're hurt, so she don't show it. You need to make her change dat; you need show her it's okay to be weak when you are. You don' do that and you'll lose her Mon ami, we'll all lose her, cause' she won fight, not if you leave, and she need to do that."

"What would you know about it Gumbo."

Remy smiled, "Remy, he know everything."

Logan sighed and put Remy back down on the stool, "Alright Gumbo, alright."