Jubie's First Date

by Ms. Marvel

"So, bub, you wanna take out Jubilee, right?"

"Yes sir."

"Well, Jubie's like my own flesh and blood and I want to make sure you treat her right, so I have a few ground rules for ya. You ain't got any objections ta that, do ya kid?"

"No sir."

"Good. Would ya like a beer?"

"I'm not old enough to drink sir."

"Aw, I won't tell."

"Really, sir, I don't drink."

"Good for you, kid, mind if I have one?"

"No sir."

"Nice......claw sir."

"Ya like it? Got five more just like it. Anyway, you will have her home no later that midnight. If you are so much as a minute late, I will find you and I will kill you."

"Sir, don't you think that's a little harsh?"

"Did I say I was finished, bub?"

"No sir."

"Okay, second, you will buy her flowers. If ya don't I will find you and I will kill you."


"Also, in the car, you will sit at least twelve inches away from my little girl. Ya sit any closer, I will find you and I will kill you."

"Yes s-sir."

"Now, you will be a perfect gentleman. You will pay for everything, you will open doors for her and you will take her anywhere she wants to go. Do I have to tell you what will happen to you if you don't?"

"No sir."

"I didn't think so. Now, this is the most important part. You will make no effort whatsoever to make out with my darlin' girl. If I hear so much as a whisper o' you doin anything improper, I will find you and I will....."

"Kill me?"

"Nope. First I'll castrate ya, THEN I'll kill you."


"Now, kid, what have you learned from our little talk?"

"If I do anything to Jubilee, you will find me and you will kill me."

"Right. Now, are you ready to go on yer date?"

"Um, all of a sudden, I'm not feelin' so good. I'd better go home."

"Sure, kid, I'll tell Jubilee for ya."

[a few minutes later}


"I'm ready! Hey, Wolvie, where's my date?"

"Well, darlin' I told him he needed to get you home on time and he should treat you like a lady and he took off."

"Figures. Most guys my age are scum anyway."

"I'm sorry, darlin'. Say, I just heard from Moira that one o' her cousins has a kid who's a mutie. He'll be comin' ta New York in a few days and he'll need someone ta show him around. He seems like a nice kid. Would ya mind?"

"Well, he couldn't be any worse than the loser who just left. Why not?"

"Thanks, darlin'"

[after Jubilee has left]


"So, Logan, did you manage to scare off Jubie's date?"

"Who, me Red?"

"Yes, you. Did you ask her about showing Jason around?"

"Yeah, she said yes. Did you use Cerebro t'scan the kid?"

"Against my better judgement. You'll be happy to know he is a fine young man who shares some of Jubilation's interests."

"Thanks, Red. Of course, I'll still have to ask him just a few......minor questions."

[main page | archive | forums | gallery ]