Jubilee's Bored!

Written by Alexandria, Apolla, Calypso, Connie, Gumby, Jassa, Jerica, Magnus10, and Salamander.

"Wolvie, I'm bored!!!"

Logan looked at the person he thought of as his own flesh and blood. She was dangerous when she was bored. It even scared him sometimes. "What do ya want ta do, Darlin'?"

"I don't know. Somethin' fun!!"

'STUPID!!!' Logan thought to himself. He shouldn't have let her eat all that candy. Those Surges she gulped down weren't going to help any, either. He was stuck. Logan had to find something for Jubilee to do before she found something to do herself. "Let me think of somethin', alright, Darlin'?"

When no answer came he looked back to the place Jubilee had once been. She was gone. 'Oh oh... I have ta find her before she gets inta anything. Maybe I should pull the mansion alarm... NAH!!! I can handle her!'

That's when Logan heard a loud crash and some screaming coming from the kitchen. 'Dear God!!! What kinda monster have I let loose?' was all he could think as he ran to the kitchen.



When Wolverine got to the kitchen, Jubilee was gone. All of the cabinet doors and all the drawers were open and the contents were strewn all over the kitchen floor.

'Ow Lordy,' Wolverine thought, 'What's the kid up to?'


Before he could react, Wolverine found himself face down on the floor with a hyper teen on his back.

"OwWolvieIamsogladyourherethebadguysarecomingandwehavetostopthem!" Jubilee said in one long breath.

Wolverine sat up and looked at the teenager.

She was wearing Scott's apron. The one with the "Kiss the cook, Shoot the short guy with the attitude" on it and a pot on her head. There was tinfoil wrapped around her arms and legs and she was armed with a metal spatula in her right hand, and a pot lid in her left, like a shield.

"Darlin', what "Bad guys?" Wolverine asked gently.

Jubilee looked at him. Wolverine's eyes widened as he saw the girl start to cy.

"You don't believe me!"

Wolverine cursed to himself silently. With a sigh he said, "Ok, Jubes, where are the bad guys?"

"This way Wolvie! I'll show you, noone can defeat us!" The teen said with no trace of tears. Wolverine felt himself being dragged out of the door.

"Go Go Power Rangers!"

'POWER RANGERS! It just HAD to be the Power Rangers.......' Wolverine thought to himself as she continued to drag him outside.......



"DOH!!" Jubilee hit the pot on her head with the spatula. "I forgot the guns!" She turned to Logan. "Wait here, 'Kay?"

Before he could answer, she was gone. A few minutes later, she was back, carrying two big Super Soakers. "What color ya like, blue or red?" She asked.

"Uummm... red, I guess, Darlin'."

"'Kay! Here!" Jubilee handed him one of the guns. "It has cool-aid in it."

Logan took the gun and looked at Jubilee. "What's goin' on?" He asked. His voice was getting stern. He knew that if he couldn't get control of Jubilee soon, it would be too late.

"If I told ya, I'd have ta kill ya!" Instead of carrying her spatula and the pot lid, she was holding the gun in her hands. The spatula was hanging on her belt, but she regrettably couldn't carry her pot lid 'shield' the same way. She was going to leave it behind.

Jubilee looked at Logan. "Agent Wolveroon, you're next mission is a dangerous one. I will be going on the mission with you, though. You will be briefed on the mission as soon as we reach the target designated. Follow me."

'That's it!' Thought Logan. "No more La Femme Nikita for her!' He followed anyway, hoping that he could somehow get the upper hand in the situation, though he doubted it.

They had been walking for a few minutes. Jubilee opened a door that led outside the mansion. Of course, Logan followed, finally confessing to himself that he had no control of the situation.

They crept slowly close to the walls of the mansion. They used some bushes as coverage. Logan could see two shapes in lounge chairs lazily, well, lounging, which is what you do in lounge chairs. DUH!

"Agent Wolveroon, our mission is to attack the enemies before they get any plans of attack towards us. Those two are dangerous rival agents. They are Agent One Eye and Agent Time Cop. Fire on my word."

Logan looked at the two figures. They were Scott and Bishop. "Darlin', this is a bad idea..."

"All agents that cannot follow through on missions will be terminated on that mission. Understand?"

Logan nodded. 'What am I doing?!?!?'

"Aim. Makes sure you have a good shot. On three. One... Two... Three ...FIRE!!!"

Logan caught himself shooting. He really couldn't believe what he was doing. It felt good, though. He had wanted to do something to Scott for a long time.

The two guys stood up and started to stare at Logan. "What are you doing?"

'oh oh...' "Well, you see, Jubilee..." When he turned to point to her, she was no longer there. He then realized that he didn't remember Jubilee shooting her gun. "DEAR GOD!!! WE HAVE TO FIND HER!!! SHE'S ON A SUGAR HIGH!!!"



Cyclops and Bishop were dripping with sticky cool-aid. Wolverine was still holding the super soaker. Their mouths hit the floor.

"What do you mean she has a sugar high?" Cyclops yelled. Bishop was looking around, fearful.

"Where is she?" He whispered.

"How much junk food has she had?" Cyclops asked. Wolverine told him. "She had what!!" They both yelled.

Wolverine was squirming now, as much as he could. "Well she seemed so happy at the time." He said lamely.

"We have to find her. Quickly." Cyclops said urgently. They all stalked out of the room. "Try not to hurt her. If she puts up a fight--"

"And she will." Bishop said.

"Stun her and drag her back." Cyclops finished.

Jubilee, meanwhile, was in her normal attire jumping up and down outside. Gambit walked past her.

"Ello' petite. How are you?" He asked.

Jubilee bounced up to him. "Good." She said still bouncing.

"Remy has to go into town to pick up a few tings' at the store. Wanna come?" He asked.

Jubilee visibly thought about it for half a second then jumped into Remy's arms. "Yeah! I can go? Promise?" She asked.

Remy patted her on the head. "Course you can go petite. If Jean makes me go ta' da' grocery store, ya' might as well come along." He said as he made his way to the garage. Jubilee skipped beside him.

"Kewl! I was bored anyway." She hopped behind Remy on his bike. They tore away from the school just as Logan, Cyclops, and Bishop got to the door.

"Ahhhh!!!!" Cyclops and Bishop screamed. Logan slapped his head. "This is bad. Really bad." He muttered.

Jean walked up behind them. "Is something wrong?"

They all whirled around. "No!!"

"Where was Gambit going?" Cyclops asked calmer.

"The grocery store." She said then walked back inside with an odd look on her face.

"Get in the car. We're going to the store." Cyclops told them.



"OOOOOOO!!! Can I get some candy????" Jubilee was hopping around the isle with the candy in it.

"Gambit tink you already had some candy, petite."

"LOOK!!!! Ya said I could come and now you're toying with me!!! Now, you're goin' ta get me candy, or you're going ta be sorry!!"

'Oh oh... How much candy dis girl have?' "Sorry, petite. Grab what ya want."

"Thank ya, Gamby!!" Her hands showed her experience as they flew with precision as she got what she wanted. "'Kay! I'm done! Let's go!"

"Wait, petite. Gambit need ta get what Jean asked for." With that, they left the isle.


"All right, men! Jubilee probably has dragged Gambit to the candy section. Since Jubilee was able to brainwash you earlier, Wolverine, you will be teamed up with me. Bishop you will go in alone."

Bishop began to whimper. He was visibly shaking. Tears were forming in his eyes.

"Good God, man!! Snap out of it!!!" Wolverine said as he slapped Bishop across the face.

"Thank you, Wolverine. What is the rest of the plan, Cyclops?" They were using everyone's codenames because they were treating this like a real mission.

"Bishop, go around the back of the store and sneak up on the isle with the candy from it. Wolverine and I will be attacking from the front. When both teams are in position, attack. We'll have to take her out. We don't know how she'll react. Be gentle, though. If we mess up and go at her with a lot of force, who knows what she'll do. That's it, X-Men. Let's go."


And they did. What they didn't know was that Jubilee and Gambit were already in line.



Remy was waiting patiently for the groceries to be bagged. He glanced at Jubilee who was already eating the candy. "What is that?" He asked her.

"Chocolate covered expresso beans." She said popping a few in her mouth.

"Hmmm. Sounds good."

"It is. Want some?" She chirped. She handed Remy the bag. He popped a few in his mouth. His expression cleared.

"Hey! These are great!!" He yelled taking in a mouthful.

Meanwhile Bishop stood behind the candy isle. He couldn't see very well through the rack but he made out a girl. She was the only one there so it had to be Jubilee. It was time to make his move.

He leapt into the isle and knocked over a rack of candy. It scattered all over the floor. On the other side Wolverine and Cyclops burst into the isle. A teenage girl who was not Jubilee dropped her bag of jelly beans. She took one look at the three of them and screamed. The three men looked around panicked, they started to apologize. She ran right past them still screaming. They looked towards one another and booked the other way.

Remy had devoured half the bag. He was hopping from foot to foot. "I feel pretty good. We have go to do somethin' Somthin' fun." He told Jubilee smiling. Then he saw a beautiful woman. He ran up to her and took her hand.

"EllomynameisRemyLeBeauAndyouarebeuatifulchereYouwana'goout?" Remy smiled giddily at her. She wrenched her hand out of his and ran screaming out of the store. "Come back chere! Remy only being friendly." He called looking dejected. He brightened a second later. "Lets go petite. There has to be somthin' fun ta' do." He told her. Jubilee followed him her arms full of candy.

"What about the rest of it?" Jubilee asked.

"It's not important. Now where's dat candy?"



Gambit and Jubilee were on the motorcycle, again. "Where ya want ta go, petite?"

"Don't know. Some place fun, though!"

"Don't worry! Gambit know a fun place for both of us." With that he started the motorcycle.

At the same time, the three X-Men who had come after them were being kicked out of the store.

"Watch ya're hands, bub!"

"But, I'm the leader of the X-Men!"

"This is intolerable! Those guns are not toys!"

Gambit drove the motorcycle up to them. "Gambit tink you need ta learn how ta act like gentlemen." Gambit drove off.

"Gambit!!! WAIT!!!"



"That was uncalled fer, bub." Logan said to Scott. "Don't make me get medieval on you!"

"Wolverine, you don't get it. That isn't your sweet, innocent Jubilee anymore. She's a crazed, sugar-fueled psycho. It's important we treat her like one or she'll get the upper hand. Come, my X-Men, we must follow them!"

The three jumped into the car they had come in and started out of the parking lot.



Gambit and Jubilee rode around town like a hurricane out of control. They ran red lights, dodged in between stopped cars, and even drove on the sidewalk for a little while, scattering pedestrians left and right. All the while they both ate more candy, Jubes feeding some to Gambit as he drove.

"So where we goin'?" Jubilee yelled to Gambit as he swerved to miss a young couple trying to cross the street.

"It's a surprise, petite," he shouted back. "But Gambit t'ink you will like it!"

"Cool!" Jubilee smiled. Then her eyes widened. "Oh no - Cajun, look out!!"

Muttering a string of French curses, Gambit screeched to a halt just in time to avoid hitting a car that was backing slowly out of a driveway on their right. Still, it had been a close thing - they were stopped a mere six inches from the car's rear bumper!

Immediately, two muscular men got out of the car, both of them with furious looks on their faces. "Hey!" the first one yelled at them. "You idiots need to watch where you're going!"

"Yeah!" the second one said, pushing his slipped sunglasses back up against the bridge of his nose. "You could've wrecked our car!"

Gambit took a closer look at the car - a 1980 Chevrolet station wagon, painted bright yellow - and grinned. "P'raps I should have - looks like it need to be put out of its misery, non?" He knew that his answer was going to get them into trouble, but he couldn't help himself. The sugar's power over him was just too strong to resist. Behind him, he heard Jubes trying to choke back her giggles, which made him feel a little better. Least I'm not de only one wit' dis problem・

"Oh, a smart guy, huh?" the second man growled in Gambit's face. "And just what's wrong with our car?"

"Like you, mon ami," the X-Man said, swiftly reaching for the man's face, "dat t'ing is ugly." Eyes glowing red with his power, Gambit mildly charged the man's sunglasses, sending him stumbling backwards with a yelp of pain.

"L-look! His eyes・you're one of those evil mutants I've heard about on the news! You hurt my brother, you rotten mutie!" The first man pointed an accusing finger at Gambit, attracting the attention of passers-by with his shouts. Several stopped and drew closer, angrily encircling Gambit and Jubilee, cutting off their only route to escape.

"Oh man," Jubilee breathed in Gambit's ear, "what do we do now??"



The man pointed at them some more. "This mutie hurt my brother!" A crowd was beginning to form.

Jubilee's eyes started to water. "SHUT UP!! My parents were killed my some mutants!" She was already crying by then. "Remy isn't the mutant, ya're brother is! It was his glasses that got weird! He made his glasses do it ta try ta kill Remy! Look at Remy's eyes! Yar brother did that ta him! Remy's the only person I have and yar brother, a mutie, tried ta kill him!"

The crowd looked at the man that had accused Remy. They were getting angry at him, now.

Remy had been saved. "That's okay, petite." He came over to Jubilee and put his arms around her. "Dat man can't take Gambit from ya. Gambit gonna stay here with ya. No mutie gonna change dat."

"But... but ... you..." The man knew he was going to be in trouble.

"How could your brother do that?" Someone from the crowd yelled at the man.

"Come on, petite. Let's go." He guided Jubilee, who was still in his arms, to the motorcycle. They got on. Gambit turned to the man who had accused him. "Gambit tink ya need ta learn how to be a gentleman. Gambit tink a lot of people need ta learn that today." Gambit started the motorcycle and left the scene.


"Cyclops! Look! Over there!" Bishop pointed to the angry crowd.

Scott parked the car close to it. "I bet they had something to do with this! Be alert!"

When they got out of the car, they noticed that the crowd was directing its anger at two men, one of which was holding the bridge of his nose.

Scott asked a woman in the crowd what had happened. The woman answered, "One of them is a mutant. He attacked a man on a motorcycle. The mutie's brother tried to blame the guy on the motorcycle, but the kid who was with him burst into tears. He was the only person she had left. Her parents had been killed by muties."

"Did the man on the motorcycle have a cajun accent?" Scott asked.

"Yes! How did you know?"


"Wow! Tanks, petite! Gambit tink you deserve an Oscar for dat performance!"

"No prob! So where we goin' again?"

"Sorry! Still can't tell ya! Ya'll like it, though. We got anymore candy?"

"'Course! Here." She started feeding him again, Jubilee taking bites every once in a while.




Remy continued to ride like a madman, driving as fast as he could wherever he could.

Jubilee sat behind him screaming and yelling and having the time of her life.

The people who saw them were very afraid.

They passed a bank that had just been robbed and Jubilee stood up and shot a stream of fireworks at the man which blinded him and allowed the police to catch him.

The humans who watched were so impressed by her skills and powers they wanted to no more about her. So they all jumped in their cars and started chasing the two.

"Look Gambit, they all want to play tag!"



"Let's see if they catch us chere" Remy said while driving through the freeway.

"We want to know you little girl."

"Slow down!"

"Ya right, let's ditch these weirdo's gumbo"


Remy then speed up and went through the freeway like in one of those 70's movies.

* * *

On their Jeep, Logan, Bishop, and Scott where frantically looking for Remy and Jubilee on the freeway

"Bishop, turn on the radio, we need to think with clear heads..."

"This is Trent Savage for 95.9 KGO news, there has been a sighting in which a young lady mutant is being chased down by several cars on Interstate 7..."

"Interstate 7?!?!" Bishop said, "Isn't that where we are?"

As Bishop said this a motorcycle wizzed past them.

"Hi Guys" Jubilee taunted, and the motorcycle went to the exit, as many cars followed them.

"Great, that's all we need, a mutant mob." Scott said agitatedly as they followed the mob.



"Step on it Logan!" Scott yelled.

"Already got the pedal to the metal Cyke," grunted Logan. "Can´t go much faster with all them cars in the way anyways."

"Faster Gumbo!" Yelled Jubilee in-between shrieks of excitement.

"You got it Chere!" Bambit was now grinning like a maniac, scaring little children in the back seats of the cars they passed.

"What are they doing? Don´t they see the roadblocks up ahead?" Bishop started to panic.

"I sure hope so.." Scott started.

"Hey Remy look they're trying to stop us!"

"Hang on to ol´Gambit, Chere!" Remy yelled.

Logan, Scott and Bishop closed their eyes.



As Remy took some more Candy from Jubilee he charched it and threw it at the barriers at exactly the right time, causing them to blow out of the way as they rode past.

"Chere let's do somet'ing dey'll never expect."

"You got it."

Remy hit the back tire brakes and skidded them into a full 180 so that they were facing the oncoming mob, and tore straight through them causing havoc all around as cars dodged to the left and the right to avoid the crazed Cajun and the maniacal mallrat.



"Wahhhooooo", Jubilee cried out as they sped down the road. She giggled at the looks on the people's faces. "How much longer ?", she asked Gambit after a few more squeals. "Not too much, but we got to loose our friendly boy scout troops", he answered grabbing some more candy. "Okeey Dokkey", Jubilee said clutching tighter to the bike as they began to go even faster trying to loose the X-Men, and the police.

Suddenly a building was in view, Remy smiled. "Wonder if they'd mind...", he mused as he sped towards it. Busting through the gates, suddenly lasers shot at them. Grabbing some cards he threw them disarming everybody. Jubilee started throwing sparks at 'em. They busting through two doors they raced down the hallway.

Agent Micheals and Agent Lee looked at each other. Their badges read CIA. "After them!", they both cried.

"Great we got a new bunch of people wanting to play!", Jubilee said smiling. Gambit grinned, "Den petite guess well just gotta give em the race of dere lives...".



As they were about to escape, a big hurley man stepped in their way. Gambit and Jubilee jumped off the motorcycle as it hit the man, but he was untouched.

"What is that Remy?!?!" Jubilee screamed in horror as it came closer.

"It's not a that, Jubes, it's a Janet Reno!" He yelled. They started running away from it and look for a car.

"YOU CANNOT ESCAPE MY WRATH PUNY HUMANS GRWWWOLLL" She/he/it commanded. Her/him/it eyes were glowing red, beams of lasers were going toward them.

"Aieee, hey bad excuse for a cross-dresser, you almost hit me!" She threw her sparks at it, but to no avail, it seemed to get stronger.

"HA HA HA I EAT THAT FOR BREAKFAST, AND OCASIONALLY LUNCH" It/he/she taunted as it followed with great determination.

Gambit and Jubilee ran into a wall. "Great job Remy, lead us to a dead end. Now what are we going to do?!?!?!"



Gambit put out a hand towards Jubilee. "Quick, gimme all o' dat candy ya got left!" The teenager pulled the few remaining chocolate-covered expresso beans out of her pocket and passed them over. Charging them with as much kinetic energy as he could, the Cajun threw them against the wall and ducked out of the way, pulling Jubilee with him. The resulting explosion tore a large hole in the wall, through which the two X-Men made their escape.

As they stopped to catch their breath, Jubilee took a moment to examine their surroundings. "Looks like we're in the back parking lot・don't see tall and ugly anywhere, though. Maybe we lost her・?"

Gambit glanced back the way they had come and pointed. "No such luck, petite - here it comes!"

The two watched in horror as the cyborg lumbered towards them, spewing deadly lasers from its eyes. "Pathetic humans! No one escapes the mighty Janet Reno!!" Laughing maniacally, it lifted its arms to administer the fatal blow when・

・a short optic blast severed the head from its body, reducing it to a useless pile of scrap metal.

Turning, Gambit and Jubilee were surprised to see Wolverine, Bishop and Cyclops standing behind them. Each one looked much the worse for wear, and not at all happy with their two teammates. Finally realizing the trouble they had caused, Jubilee started to blurt out an excuse, but was silenced by Gambit's stare. "It's no use, petite - ain't no way we're getting' out o' dis one," the Cajun murmured.

"All right, the fun's over. Let's get you back to the X-Mansion," Cyclops declared, steering Jubilee to their car that was parked nearby. "Dr. McCoy needs to de-tox the both of you before anyone else gets hurt." Glancing over at Wolverine and Bishop, he nodded towards Gambit. "You two grab that one and hang on to him - and if he gives you any trouble, incapacitate him. I'm not taking any chances until they're both safely in the med-lab."

After shoving Jubilee and Gambit into the back seat of the car and wedging Wolverine in between to keep them separated, Cyclops and Bishop climbed into the front seats and drove off into the sunset, leaving the CIA offices and a smoldering Janet Reno safely behind them.