Punch Line

by 2280


Disclaimer: If it's in the book and then it's not mine, I don't get fame or gain so if it bugs you that I'm using it, well stuff it. Claire is mine, and I'm gonna be a hypocrite and ask you to ask me before you use her. (Double standard rule.)

If you have comments send them too [email protected]_Ways.zzn.com, I'd like to hear from you!


I remember saying once that I thought there was some big cosmic joke that I just wasn't getting. I was wrong. There is defiantly a cosmic joke, and it seems to be that I'm the butt of the joke. However I think I'm making progress, I know part to fit now; in fact I'm going to get the main part of the joke right now.

I never would have guessed that the Professor was in on it, but when he asked me to go get her for their meeting, the once she always 'forgets' about; well lets just say I'm wise to his game.

So here I am, walking outside in the blistering heat to get her. Who is she you might ask, and I'm sure you will. Well she is the joke that I appear to be the butt of. But I'm think I'm making progress, unbeknownst to the cosmic pranksters I am starting to get some insight into what they seem to think is so funny.

Apparently to them, a total disruption of life as we know it is pretty damn amusing. The Prof. on the other hand seems to think it's amusing to make me go and get the disruption. From the top of the hill where I am I can see her, lying in a tree like some big lazy jungle cat with her leg hanging over the edge of the tree limb. I know she knows I'm here. If she hasn't heard me already then she's smelled me, but does she get up? Nooooo. She just lays there and makes me walk down the hill, sweating like a stuck pig. to tell her she should be at a meeting she knows damn well that she should be at. She's so infuriating, even when I'm standing at the base of the tree looking up at her she doesn't acknowledge my presence or move.

"Come on Claire, the Prof. is waiting to give you your rabies shot."

She looks over her shoulder at me, finally, smiling. "Is he done declawing you already?"

Smart-ass. "Come on, I'm dying out here."

She takes the time to stretch before she roles of the side of the branch and lands so close to me I can feel her hair brush up against me. Show off, but I won't let her know that I'm impressed, it will only egg her on. Instead we simply walk back to the mansion together. I notice that she isn't sweating like me, must be nice to have your own built in climate control. I'll have to add that to the Why I Don't Like Claire list.

Anyway, back to a topic of importance, me. As I was saying I was starting to get what everyone else seemed to think was sooo funny. Namely the girl at my side here. In keeping with X-Man tradition she showed up at the worst possible time and declared that she was Wolvie's long lost, mentally unbalanced, abandoned daughter, from a life he didn't remember. Yeah, that's what I said, but since normal things don't happen to us, ever, we took it in stride, and now we have the tests to prove it. Sometimes I think science is overrated.

So what's so funny about that? Nothin. The 'funny' part is that out of all the time I've known her, and I use that term loosely as we have spoken all of like five times the entire time she's been her, but of that I get the feeling that I'm the only one here who understands her.. Ha ha. I know what it's like to be left behind, to be scared, even if you won't admit it, to be angry and not be able to show it. Well actually, she isn't afraid to show anger. In fact that is pretty much the only thing she expresses, she views any other emotion as a waste of time and a weakness. Not that I'm weak, cause that's the last thing that I am, but I know what it's like.

And it's not that I like her or anything, cause I don't, not even a little, but there are times when she can be pretty amusing. Like with Storm, for some reason Claire gets some sick pleasure out of rattling Storm. She'll find her in a room by herself some where and she'll go about her business without acknowledging her, and then suddenly she'll turn around and give 'Ro her full attention. She'll just, like, stare at her. Then she'll come closer to her and, like maybe read over her shoulder or something. She doesn't touch her, cause Claire doesn't touch people, but she'll be close enough that Storm has to be able to feel her body heat. Then suddenly she'll just leave. She does all that without saying a word.

It's either pure maliciousness or funny as hell. Actually it is funny, but it's malicious too. She seems to be able to get everyone's skin like that, to find those buttons that grab their attention and push them. Pisses me off. I mean, I'm kidnapped, beat up and left for dead in the middle of a fucking desert, and no one bats an eye. Doesn't even send a card for gods sake! But little miss severely mentally unbalanced looks at someone funny, and everyone jumps to take notice of it. Like once she laughed at something Cable said, not her malicious "I'd love to separate your head from your body' laugh, but an honest heart felt laugh, and I swear you could have heard a feather it the floor in that room. It's sickening. Maybe