by Maelstrom

Hi folks. Wrote this in about an hour, it's a sequel to Dyce's "Second String". Hope you like it :).


Summary: Sequel to ・Second Strings・. Monet tries to find out why Jubilee took the easy way out.
Rating: G (I think)
Main characters: Monet/Jubilee
Disclaimer: You know what goes in here.

It is sunny today, although it should be raining. That・s the stereotypical notion whenever it comes a funeral scene, of people dressed in black and weeping in the rain. I detest stereotypes. But then again you always tried to be one, didn・t you, Jubilation? The smart-mouthed valley girl who didn・t bother to try because she didn・t want to fail. The one who hid her fears and insecurities from sight because she wanted to appear tough and infallible in front of her peers. Well who・s infallible now, Jubilation? Who・s the wrong one? Who has failed?

We have. We all have. For we are the ones at fault for your passing, are we not? We did not listen close enough to hear that twinge in your voice when you told us you wanted to be alone; we did not look close enough to see that glint in your eyes when you said you had things to work out; we could not read the signs when you locked yourself in your room. We were slow, and this is the price we have paid, losing you.

So here we stand witnessing your funeral. This shouldn・t have happened. Not to you. You should・ve died in battle instead, in the course of saving humanity and mutantkind. Or of a grand old age with peace and grandchildren surrounding you, you naturally caring for them as you would to their grandfather -- most probably Everett, yes? You always did like him. You should・ve ended your life with a sharp wisecrack, or at least a poignant truth. Your death should have been glorified or used as an example to help fight for Xavier・s dream. You should have gone from this world in all those kinds of ways, but not this. Not suicide. You were strong, Jubilee. Very strong. This was weak, cowardly, foolish. It was pointless. It wasn・t your style.

Look at me. You・re dead and I・m still lecturing you on what you should and shouldn・t do.

Logan is at the front of the black-clad throng, and he wears his hat lopsided to hide his grieving face. Few can see his expression now, but I am certain of what it must contain: anguish, sorrow, anger, fury, disappointment, regret. All of which I too feel right now. Why did you do this, Jubilation? Did you not realize the hurt that you were causing your ・family・? Did you not stop to think that maybe you were being a little too emotional? We expected better of you -- you・ve always told us of your exploits and adventures, your grand words of wisdom ・when you were with the X-Men・, but where did all that great wisdom go when Kitty Pryde returned? Where did your self-confidence take flight to when she stepped into the mansion? Overcome by jealousy, perhaps? I always thought you were too intelligent to be fooled by envy, Jubilation. Yes, you *were* intelligent. You always were. Kitty is gifted, but you were smart. There is a difference.

How could you have thought that Logan loved Kitty Pryde more than he loved you? How could you have thought that he did not want you anymore? We are assuming that that is the reason for your suicide, since your walls were splattered with the blood-written words ・I HATE KITTY. I HATE WOLVIE・ over and over again when we finally entered your room to see why you would not come down for dinner. That was after you had called the mansion and found out that the reason Logan failed to visit you was because he had to ・be there・ for Kitty. Why the sudden irrationality, Jubilee? If he had said the same about Jean Grey or even Storm, you would・ve accepted it. Why did you overreact when it was Kitty?

Because that was the reason, wasn・t it, Jubilation? That it was Kitty. To you, it was always about Kitty. You・ve always tried to be everything Kitty was not, a slacking valley girl who never listened to anybody and did things her own way. You purposely flunked that Calculus test two weeks ago because you knew that if Kitty had taken it she would・ve aced it, and you didn・t want that. You didn・t want to be compared to Kitty. So you purposely flunked it. You thought nobody knew about this, but I did. And I remained silent.

We never did get along well, did we, Jubilee? I was too perfect for you too, wasn・t that what you thought? Did you hate me because I matched your verbal attacks, because I put you down as often - or even more - than you did me? Or did you hate me because I reminded you of Kitty? Was I just one more example of how ・inferior・ you were in everybody・s eyes? Was that it?

I hope not, Jubilee. I would hate to think that this was what you centered your whole life on, on Kitty Pryde. I would hate to think that you twisted your life around just so that no one could ever compare you to her. I would really, truly, honestly hate that.

She・s standing beside Logan now. Her once-laughing brown eyes are now filled with sorrow and pain. I think she truly liked you, Jubilee. I think - and this is purely my opinion only - that she thought you were good for Logan. When she left the X-Men, she left him too, and I know she must・ve hurt over that. But then you came along, and she saw how happy he was when he was with you, and she was glad. No, this is not from my personal observation, for I was not there at the time. I hadn・t even joined Xavier・s team yet. I heard this all from Rahne Sinclair -- Wolfsbane, if you recall her. She is Kitty・s friend and teammate, so she should know how Kitty felt about all this, and she told me. Kitty liked you, Jubilee. Why couldn・t you understand that?

Or *didn・t* you want to understand that? Did you hate her even more because she liked you? Did you think that it was typical of her saccharine sweet manner to like her supposedly worst enemy, and you couldn・t take that kind of cheer from her? Did you resent her for her lightheartedness? Because I can tell you right now, Jubilee, she is not as lighthearted as she seems. She never was. You just didn・t look hard enough to see that.

I don・t need to tell you how hard the rest of us are taking it either. Paige is bawling over her best friend・s death, her Southern accent getting worse and worse with every howl, and Jono is doing his best to comfort her but he・s looking even darker than ever. There・s a mixture of hidden pain and rage in his eyes. I think he・s furious at you for choosing this way too. I am certain that if I telepathically search his mind, I would discover him cursing at you in that English accent of his, screaming that if he doesn・t even have a body but is still willing to give life a shot, why should you choose the easy but foolish way out just because of some ruddy gifted gel who came back? He・s angry at you, Jubilee, but he says nothing because he・s still comforting his Sunshine.

And Everett? Well, you can probably guess his reaction so I・m not going to dwell on that. Angelo looks moody and depressed, and he・s probably reminded of all the deaths that he・s witnessed in L.A. But those deaths were from fights on the streets, not suicide. That・s probably what he can・t understand right now -- that the little chica chose suicide instead of a real death. He・s still trying to figure out why. We all are, I guess.

But the others -- all our teachers and grown-ups and X-Men and. . . and everyone, they・re just speechless. They can・t say a word. They can・t believe it. Their Jubilee who was always so strong, such a survivor, such a wonderful person, done in by suicide. Something・s wrong with the world if this is what it comes down to. You were the one who wanted to fight for the Dream, Jubilation. How do you expect us to carry on believing in it when this has happened?

You know what? Stop blaming Kitty Pryde. Stop blaming Logan. Stop your blaming. There・s nothing else to talk about, really. You・re dead. That・s all that boils down to in the end. That・s all that matters.

And it hurts.