Sick as a Wolverine

Authors listed in alphabetical order:

Anonymous Poster, Khaki, Loki, Lovecraft

"Hmph, that tickles."

Forcing his heavy eyes open, he saw Jean looking down at him, relief filling her expression.

"How do you feel."

'Terrible,' he thought, but he replied instead, "Fantastic."

"That was a brave thing you did."

'What? Brave thing?' The memories flooded him, Rogue, dying, he had to save her.

"Did it work?"

"She's fine. She took on a few of your more charming personality traits, but we lived through it."

The thought made him laugh, but a strange almost painful itching in his throat caused him to cough instead. What was wrong with him? He felt hot, achy, just miserable all over.

"She's a little taken with you," Jean continued with a knowing grin.

"Well, you can tell her my heart belongs to someone else."

Her expression changed, becoming slightly uncomfortable. "You know, you and I..."

"How's the professor?" he interrupted.

"He's good."


He pulled her hand up to his to give it a kiss, but an uncontrollable itching sensation filled his nose, and he sneezed on it instead.

'Great, Logan,' he thought. 'That's romantic.'

He sat up, trying to apologize, but the room began to spin and the itching in his throat forced another coughing fit.

He looked up at Jean to see his utter confusion mirrored in her face. "What's going on?"

"I don't know. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you had the flu that's been going around."

"And is still going around." A younger female voice chimed in as an Asian girl, looking completely miserable entered the room. "Dr. Grey, I think I'm..." She held up a Kleenex to her face, coughing and sneezing into it before it was vaporized in her hands by a paff-inducing, sharp sneeze. "... sick." she finished.



"Oh, God. Jubilee's been infected too." Dr. Jean Grey walked over and placed her hand on Jubilee's head. "Yes, and you've got a temperature, too. Do you have any other symptoms?"

Jubilee sneezed once more, lighting up the room with her fireworks. "Well, that can be considered a very different symptom," Jean remarked.

Anonymous Poster


"C'mon, Jubes, let's get you a bed," Jean said wrapping an arm around the sick girl, but staying clear of her hands.


"I'll be back in a second, Logan."

'I don't get sick. I'm the Wolverine,' Logan thought to himself as he got up from the bed, pulling the wires and tubes away from his body.

He made it about half-way to the door when a dizzy spell hit, and he fell to his knees. Holding his head in his hands, he coughed and hacked on the floor. Suddenly a hand came out of nowhere, settling on his shoulder.

Spinning around too quickly, he saw two fuzzy Jean Greys slowly coalescing into one person. A person that was looking less confused and more amused now. Where did she come from? He hadn't heard or smelled her approach.

"Logan, what are you doing on the floor?"

"Coughing my lungs up, apparently. What's going on, Jeanie? I can't be sick. I don't get sick."

"When you touched Rogue and allowed her to absorb your powers, your healing factor was compromised. It took a while for your wounds to heal, and in that time, it looks like you've caught the flu. I've been quarantining patients in here to keep it from spreading to the whole school. C'mon," she said, helping a shaky Logan to his feet. "Let's find you a bed. I think the one next to Jubilee is empty."



Jean helped Logan get comfortable on the bed next to Jubilee. As comfortable as possible, given his coughing fits.

"You lay down and rest. Neither of you," and Jean looked pointedily at Jubilee, "will get out of this room before I say so."

"You・ll, like, catch the flu as well, Miss Grey," remarked Jubilee.

Jean stood between the two beds, smiling lightly.

"I won・t catch the flu, Jubilee, because, contrary to you, I didn・t refuse to get the anti-flu vaccine."

Jubilee already had a good reply to offer, but a sudden coughing fit kept her from using it.

Jean Grey walked to a medicine cabinet, mixed some stuff, and got back to her patients, handing them each a cup.

"Now, take that. It will help you sleep." She waited until both Logan and Jubilee had swallowed the medicine.

Jean then made sure they were all settled in their respective beds, dimmed the lights telekinetically, and walked to the door.

"You both try to sleep now. No one will come in here but me. I・ll be back shortly." On this, Jean left the room. The door closed behind her.



Jubilee's lower lip jutted out as she settled down on the bed. She closed her eyes and waited for the sleepy-pills to take effect.

A moment passed, then she turned onto her left side, curling into a fetal position.

Another moment passed and she turned on her right side, leaving her legs stretched down the length of the bed.

And yet another moment passed, so she turned onto her stomach and slammed her head down into the pillow. A chant had begun in her head. 'Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. ...Dammit! What the *#&! is that noise!?'

Lifting her head, Jubilee glared her best bleary-eyed, 'I'm ragin' with fever so bug-off before I SPEW ON YA!' glare. "What. The *#&!. Is goin' on over there?"

"Hey! Watch yer flippin' language." The chattering stopped momentarily as Logan replied.

"I can't sleep with that SOUND! What IS it!?"

Silence reigned until a petulant, "I'm cold." drifted from Logan's bed.

Jubilee snarled (gaining a look of respect from Logan, "Who knew the kid had it in her?") took her top blanket off, and threw it at Logan's bed. "There! Now quiet!" Turning under her cotton sheet, Jubilee continued on in a hushed mumble, "Sheesh, who whudda thunk he'd be such a baby when he's sick?"

"Hey! I heard that!" Logan was feeling just as bad as Jubilee, and he'd tell her how bad just as soon as the room stopped spinning.

"Yeah, well ya can jus- MMMMULP!" Jubilee threw back her sheet and ran for the bathroom, barely making it in time.

Unfortunately, the sound of retching seemed to echo in the small quarantine area. More fortunately, no one was present to see the great Wolverine turn green around the gills and lose the contents of his stomach into a nearby trash can.



Logan just had time enough to resume his position in bed, so Jubilee would not witness him being sick, as she came back from the bathroom. The great Wolverine could NOT be sick that way.

The young Asian girl got back to bed, holding her stomach, then settled in.

"You better?" asked Wolverine, out of concern but feeling just better himself.

'What does he care?' wondered Jubilee. "Yeah," she simply answered, hoping she could sleep now.

For a long moment, which seemed like mere seconds to Jubilee, the room stayed quiet. Maybe she could finally sleep. She started to think about her next shopping spree, the things she would buy, the nice T-shirt she saw... Sleep was claiming her, at last.


Jubilee woke up of her semi-sleep with a start. 'What・s wrong, now?' screamed her mind. She sat on her bed, glaring at the man in the bed next to her.

Wolverine was covered with sweat, his fists clutching at the sheets, adamantium claws ripping the mattress. He suddenly opened his eyes and looked around the room like a caged animal.

Before Jubilee could voice a smart remark (she would have to unfreeze from the panic that scream had put her into), Logan had jumped on his shaky legs. Jubilee watched him as he tried to reach the door, but collapsed mid-way.

Jubilee didn・t think twice and jumped out of her bed. She ran to him but stopped short, by memories of what he did to Rogue that night when she tried to wake him up. She looked down at him, on the floor. As soon as he seemed to stop fighting whatever ghosts he saw, Jubilee grabbed his arm.

"Hey now, you・re not, like passing out on me, old man? Get back to bed. I・ll call Miss Grey..."

He resisted her. She thought to use her powers to startle him back to reality, but then thought better. She gently touched his forehead... hot as hell. He would be delirious; she wouldn・t be surprised.

" BED! " she ordered. Simple words, she thought, might have some results.

He didn・t move. Jubilee sighed. 'Get him back to bed, then call Dr. Grey.' Her plan was that simple.

" BED! NOW! " she shouted to his sweat covered face. She pulled on him, and he finally got a hold on her to shakily stand on his feet.



After she'd gotten him back to bed, she went to the wall and called Dr. Grey on the intercom. Phew! Boy did his breath smell. It's almost as if he'd been the one puking, not her.

"Yes?" a sleepy voice answered.

"Dr. Grey, um, Logan's kinda delirious here. I was wondering if you'd..."

"I'll be right down."


"Ok, the drugs I gave him are already bringing the fever down, and the ice packs should help. Why don't you try to get some sleep, Jubilee. I'll watch him for a while, just to make sure he's ok."

"I can't sleep. I'm hot, and I'm sick, and he keeps doing stuff to wake me up."

"What about the sleep medication I gave you earlier? That should have..."

"Puked it up."

"Ah, so that's what I smell in here. Used the trash can?"

"No, used the toilet."

"Well, I guess someone else in here was sick too. I'll just replace the bag and give you some more medicine."


The rest of the day was a coughing, sneezing, aching nightmare. Logan had woken up a bit more coherent a few hours after Jean had returned and was now miserably coughing his way through the late afternoon hours.

Jean returned to the room with warm chicken broth for her two patients.

"Let's see if we can't get some fluids into you two. How do you feel?"

Logan, through coughs and gags replied, "I know if I could just stop breathing for a few minutes, my throat would feel so much better."



"Mphm... my life too..." grumbled Jubilee from her bed.

Logan stared at the teenager, instinctively growling at her, which only started a new series of loud coughs. Jubilee stared back at him, not impressed at all. Of course, having Dr. Grey in the room would eventually stop the man from trying to slice and dice her if she pushed a tad too far.

"Wow, is that your gift, to, like, stare and growl at people? No, wait, I know! It・s, like, to wake everyone who tries to sleep! "

~Jubilee...~ mentally warned Jean Grey.

" .. cuz if it is, well, lemme tell you, mister. You・re veryyyyyyyyyyyy powerfull! " she added, ignoring the warning.

Logan threw his blanket away and prepared to jump in the teenager・s face, just to scare her and make her shut up. But as soon as he sat in his bed, the room started to spin around. He laid back down, sweating and shivering, mentally cursing at the young, annoying girl.

Jean Grey telekinetically covered Logan with the discarded blanket, then gave each of her patients a bowl of chicken broth. She sat nearby Jubilee・s bed until they had gotten some broth. Then she prepared to leave to allow them to rest. Before she left, she placed a plastic pan on Logan・s night stand.

He looked at it as if it was alive. "What・s that for?" he asked.

"Just a precaution, Logan, and in many ways more convenient than the trash can. Feel free to... you know."

"Hey! What do you *COUGH*... mean... *gag*...!" he protested.

She ignored his attempt at protest. "I・ll send someone to check on you later. Now, rest."

Jean smiled then left the room, mentally hoping these two would rest and not fight each other. She knew Jubilee was sometimes a living-test for patience. On the other hand, even if Jean didn・t know him for long, she was sure Logan wasn・t gifted with patience. She would separate them as soon as possible, but for now, they were too sick to leave the Med Lab.

"And the nightmare continues..." grumbled Jubilee as the door closed behind Jean.

"Shut the hell up, or I・ll *COUGH*..."

They both sighed. It was going to be a very long night.



Logan stared up at the ceiling, mentally counting the cracks. Unfortunately, he would be interrupted by a coughing fit somewhere between fifteen and twenty so he had to keep starting over.

Somewhere over on the other bed, Jubilee rustled her sheet as she turned.

Then the bed creaked as she rolled over.

And yet another rustle/creak sounded from the next bed over, followed by a methodical pounding of a head into a pillow.

"Kid, what the hell you doin' over there, gymnastics!?"

Acid dripped from the stuffed-up voice that replied, "Oh, am I keeping you awake, Mr. Personality? So sorry to interrupt your coughing jag."

'I will kill her just as soon as my lungs start functioning again.' "Kid..."

"I ain't no kid! And at least I'm toilet trained. *@)!, did ya have to hurl in the trash can? I don't think the smell'll ever get outta here."

'Why I oughta...' "Watch yer *@)!#&$ language! And I didn't 'hurl' anywhere. I don't 'hurl'!"

"Yeah, tell that to the poor trash can. They'll prob'ly hafta burn the smell out."

"Grr! *hackcoughcough-GAG!*"

"So-ooooo impressive."



Of course, 20 minutes later, when both Jubilee and Logan were rather rudely reintroduced to the chicken broth they'd eaten earlier, the argument was finally settled.

After heated, though sometimes incomprehensible, cough-filled comments about the other person's ability to handle the flu, they had finally gotten settled in again when the door opened and their bloodshot, tired eyes took in the smiling countenance of Rogue.

"Hey, Logan, Jubes. Heard you guys were sick. Jean asked if I'd help out a bit tonight so she could get some shut eye."

Getting through a few deep coughs, Jubes asked, "Rogue, aren't you worried you'll get sick too? You weren't here when everyone got the flu shots."

"Well," Rogue said, smiling at a weak and annoyed Logan, "someone was kind enough to loan me his healing factor for a while. I feel terrific."



Rogue sat by Logan・s bed, a look of sorrow in her eyes as she watched him bravely fight ・ although in vain ・ another loud coughing fit.

"Are you all right, Logan?" she gently asked, as if apologizing for the events that made him sick and left her feeling plain wonderful.

"Hey, of course he is! *HE* slept all day, which I cannot say I did, thanks to mister I-met-the-trash-can-and-almost-suffocated-Jubilee-to-death-in-the-process!" cut in Jubes.

Logan had enough. He wasn・t going to stay one more minute in the same room as Jubilee. He raised from the bed, noticed that Rogue had her long-gloves on. He looked at her.

"Find my jeans, kid." he said, only waiting for his clothes before he could find a quiet place to rest, far away from Jubilee.

"Logan... You shouldn・t..." started Rogue.

"You know what, kid? *cough* I... I shouldn・t stay here one more minute *cough*..." he retorted. "Now you find these *?%$ jeans, or I・ll go *cough* naked..."

The cough which echoed from Jubes・ bed wasn・t entirely due to the flu. Nor was the blush covering Rogue・s face.

"Logan..." started Rogue as she stood in front of him.

"Look, kid. I had *cough* enough already..."

"Hey Rogue, don・t ye mess with mister here, or else he might *cough* just puke on you!"

Logan turned to face the teenager in the bed next to his, growling some coughs. "I do NOT puke!" *COUGH*

"Uh huh. Whatever. Suits you."

"Why you, little *cough* *gag*..."

Rogue turned Logan to face her then pushed him back to bed. She had enough herself and couldn・t stand more childish behaviour. How Dr. Grey managed to deal with them both was a total mystery to her. Jean Grey went rocket high in Rogue・s esteem. *Now I know patience is a gift!* she thought.

"Logan, go to bed." She used all the tactics she could to convince him. "Please, Logan? I・m so sorry you got sick... because of me..."

"Ain・t yer fault, kid..." he tried to soothingly say.

"I worry about you... If you... I mean... please, stay in bed?" she looked at him with big wet eyes.

He grumbled (since growling only started coughing) and reluctantly laid back in bed. How could he resist Marie, especially when she felt so bad about it all? The gal had already gone through so much. There was no point adding to it.

"But I swear... *cough*..." he started.

"You always do," cut in Jubes.

"I・m not responsible if *something* happens to her," he finished, blindly pointing at Jubes.

"I・m sure Jubilee will behave." Rogue stared at Jubes, which the teenager thought was quite Loganish.

"Yeah, whatever. If only I had my CD player, could listen to something more entertaining than mister-coughs-growls-pukes-snores..."

"I・ll have someone bring it to you, ok?! I have to go." She turned to Logan. "I・ll see you later. Take care, okay?"

She almost ran out of the room. Actually, not only because of the patients・ childish behaviour, but her newly heightened sense of smell couldn・t take more of the putrid odor in the Med Lab room. She would talk to Dr. Grey so she could find someone else to look in on these two patients.

Silence. Three seconds after the door closed.

"I'll say I'm training for Survivor..." whispered Jubes.



Rogue was close to the door to Jean and Scott's room, when a tired Cyclops exited.

"Scott, I need to ask Jean to get someone else. That room..."

"I just got her to sleep. Is it an emergency?"

"Well, no, but those two are impossible and the smell in the room. It's so strong, I just can't stand to be in there."

"No one likes to be sick, and those two can be a handful even when they're well. I'll turn the ventilation on in the room. You get some things to keep them busy."

As she watched Scott go, she thought about what Jubes and Logan might like. Jubes was easy. She just needed her discman, a selection of CDs, some teen magazines, and maybe some ice cream or popsicles, if her stomach had calmed down.

Logan was harder. He liked fighting, cigars, and beer, as well as other things you couldn't discuss in mixed company. He never got sick, so she had no idea what he liked. His throat was sore. Beer popsicles? Eww, no, that'd probably just make him sicker. She decided on some of Scott's old motorcycle magazines, one of those small TV/VCR combos with headphones and a copy of 'Die Hard,' and some nice ice water.

With her peace offerings all collected in a wagon borrowed from one of the smaller kids, she took a deep breath of the clean lab air and entered the quarantine room.



Rogue instinctively stopped just before the door, listening to the other side. All seemed quiet inside the Med Lab room. She sighed and opened the door.

Logan・s bed, the nearest to the door, had lost the mattress. It was now on the floor between the bed and the wall. Between the two beds had been placed a screen. Logan was no where to be seen, nor was Jubilee.

"Hello?" Rogue asked, hesitantly.

"If you forgot my discman, get out of here!" came a feminine voice from behind the screen.

Rogue walked over Jubilee・s bed. "I got it, and a few other things I thought..."

"Cool! What did you bring?"

Rogue placed on the foot of the bed what she got for Jubes. "Where・s Logan?" she asked while Jubilee inventoried her possessions.

"Mphm... potty training?" mumbled Jubes while munching a popsicle.

Rogue then put what she brought for Logan on his bed. She painfully noticed that although the ventilation had been efficient, it didn・t quite remove all the stinking odor. She walked to the bathroom door.

"Logan?" she called.

No answer.

"He must be puking again." commented Jubilee.

"Again?!!" Rogue began to worry a bit more.

"It・s O.K. Rogue. If he only stops to try so hard NOT to, he might be as well as I am." explained Jubilee.

Rogue・s sense of smell got assaulted again, and she had to move out and fast. "Logan, I brought you some things. If you need anything else, just let me know, O.K.?"

A weird sound came as the only answer, followed by a more fetid odor. "I have to run. I・ll be back later!".

Rogue made an hasty run for the door. Dr. Grey was better be rested and soon, because Rogue had had quite enough of Med Lab.

Meanwhile, Jubilee had already wolfed down her 3 popsicles. As soon as she had finished the last one, she regretted it. Her stomach didn・t want it as much as she did.

"Whoops... Oh no..." she grumbled. She ran to the bathroom door, pummelling it. "Hey, get outta there!!!!".

The door opened and she ran in. She ran for the toilet.

Logan stared at her, feeling a bit sorry for the teenager, knowing what it was like. She wasn・t that annoying right now.

He made his way back to his makeshift camp, as he called it. Having the mattress on the floor made it look like home. Over all, it helped him get away from the teenager. He stopped by his bed and looked at the things Rogue had brought. He decided that the TV was the best thing to use right now and proceeded to plug it in. He would watch the copy of *Die Hard* when Jubilee tried to sleep, just for good measure.

Thinking of that girl, he turned to look at the bathroom. Weird, no sound. What was she doing in there? He reluctancly walked back to the bathroom.

"Kid, you all right?" he asked.

No answer.

"Kid?" He finally entered, to find her curled on the floor, sleeping. *Oh, just great!* he thought.



Leaning over, he picked up the sleeping Jubilee gingerly, heading back to her bed. His legs were wobbly, and it took all his effort not to drop her before he reached their destination. He had to pause a few times and lean against the wall to catch his breath. His strength finally gave out as he plopped her on the bed. Fortunately, she was completely exhausted and slept through the rough treatment.

Moving the CDs and magazines off the bed, he tucked her under the covers, and crawled back to his camp.

He was bone weary, but he was so uncomfortable, he couldn't get to sleep, tossing and turning for thirty minutes. He finally gave up and put in the copy of 'Die Hard.' The gun fire, shouting, and explosions did what he was incapable of, lulling him into a deep and dreamless sleep.


Rogue, now safely equipped with swimmer's nose plugs, entered the room to check on her patients. They looked so cute. Logan, bedecked with headphones, was lightly snoring to the chaos occurring on-screen.

Jubes was curled up on her side, the covers bunched so high, her toes peeked out the bottom. Leaning over, Rogue gently tugged the covers back down so her friend would be comfortable. Then she quietly left the room, allowing her friends their much needed rest.



"Achoo! Achoo! ACHOO! ACHOO!! Ooooh my spleeeeen..." Sniffling miserably, Jubilee lifted her head and blinked blearily at the VCR for the time. 'Three hours. Three whole hours. Almost. More like two hours and fourty minutes. Oh well. Not bad. Tired still. Maybe if I close m' eyes?' Jubilee dutifully closed her eyes and attempted to sleep.

Five minutes later she was slammed into wakefulness by a series of bone-jarring sneezes. A pitiful moan from the floor alerted her to awakened state of her companion. "Two hours, forty-five minutes. Beatcha."

"Shuddup, kid. It's not like I didn't carry yer heavy butt in from the bathroom. What've you been eating, lead bricks?"

'OOOOOH! Why I oughta-!' Jubilee considered getting up and kicking the man in his adamantium laced skull, but the idea of rolling out of the bed seemed too difficult a concept. "Ya know, yer a cranky old man when you wake up from yer naps."

A noncommittal grunt was her only reply.

'Hey, waitaminute...'

"Where the *&#! is my discman!?" Her hands slammed down onto the bed beside her, searching for the hard plastic lump that her discman would make.

The snort on the floor was her first clue as to where it had gone. "Where'd a kid like you learn words like that? Watch yer mouth, girl!"

"I ain't no kid!" She fumed over at him (through the screen) from her position on the bed.

"Damn, kid. This 'Britney Spears' cd is garbage. Why the flamin' heck would you have wasted money on it? The Cranberries one was better."

"AAAAARG! That's it! YER DEAD!" She struggled to untangle herself from her bed, but by the time she was out, she had exhausted her energy so completely that she fell back in a limp pile onto the bed with a muffled gurgle.

Feeling sorry for the kid, Logan got up and slipped the discman onto the bed beside her hand. A whimper was his only thanks as the hand moved the headphones onto her head and hit the play button.

'Garbage, Version 2.0' played through the headphones and Jubilee closed her eyes in contentment. She never saw Logan play 'Slice n' Dice' with her 'Britney' cd.



While Jubilee chose another CD, she heard a strange noise coming from Logan・s makeshift camp. Was he sick again? She managed to peek by the side of the screen.

"Hey, mister, what was that sound?" she asked.

"Stomach." came as the answer.

"Great, you・re gonna be sick again! Why don・t you run for the..."

"I・m not sick. I・m hungry." he explained.

"Oh. Well, given that it・s only like 4 in the morning, I doubt Dr. Grey will bring us anything to eat before a couple hours. So, what about you... like put a lid on it? I・m trying to listen to music here, in any case you..."

"I need to eat, and now." On that statement, he stood by his bed. Jubilee stared at him, maybe a few seconds too many.

"What?" he grumbled.

"Well, are you gonna like, hunt for food... in those clothes?"

Logan realized that, in fact, he was only wearing his underwear. Not surprising, since he ended up here for emergency treatments. Jean must have gotten rid of his leather outfit. Damn.

Logan grabbed a sheet and, with the slightest effort, tore a piece of it which he tied around his waist. "Wouldn・t want to have girls fainting on my way, hey?" he joked.

"Yeah right... Mister Universe." She slid from her bed, testing her legs. "I・ll come with you."

"NO WAY!" he shouted, but then had to survive one more coughing fit.

"O.K. As soon as you pass this door, I・ll tell Miss Grey." she blackmailed. "And you wouldn・t want to piss her off now, would ye?" she added with mischief.

Logan turned to face the door, cursing between clenched teeth. What could he do, damn, he was starving. And maybe, just maybe he would be lucky enough to get rid of that teenager along the way.

"Move it. We must get back fast and unnoticed," he ordered.

"O.K, Tarzan. You lead." Jubilee followed him and exited the quarantine room, en route to a hunting spree in the kitchen. This could be fun. Her grin grew wider.



Logan led them out of the med lab and into the elevator. Once they'd reached the first floor, he realized he had no idea where he was going. His entire sense of direction was thrown off by his stuffed nose. He couldn't just follow the kitchen scents like he had before.

"Ok, kid. *Cough, cough* Lead the way."

"Keep it down. We don't want the whole house knowing we're up," Jubilee chastized, then began to cough herself.

With an apologetic look, she pointed the way and they stumbled down the halls and into the kitchen like a drunken parade.

'Ok,' Jubes thought, looking through the fridge. 'Something that won't make me gag.'

"Ah ha!" Logan proclaimed, pulling out a six-pack. "Beer."

"Doncha think you should kinda wait on that until you're not puking every few hours?"

"Hey, I've got a sore throat and a cold beer will really help."

Jubes ignored him, continuing, "And getting drunk sure won't help your walking any. You can barely stay on your feet anyway. If you think I'm dragging your sorry butt back down to the med lab, then..."

"Ok, ok. I'll wait on the beer,"

Logan continued to look through the fridge, but he kept picking things like the steak and potatoes with sour cream that were left over from dinner.

'This guy has no idea how to eat with the flu,' Jubilee thought.

After digging around the kitchen, opening and shutting cupboards, and generally making all sorts of racket, and after Jubilee had basically commandeered the food selection responsibilities, they'd finally decided on their menu.

Six packs of Ginger ale and Coke, guaranteed by Jubilee to calm upset stomaches; Jello with whipped cream left over from dinner and a jar of cold applesauce, both very easy on sore throats; a loaf of bread, plain and boring, but it didn't make either of them queezy; and a new supply of popsicles.

"I'm starving, kid. I'm not sure this is enough."

"Trust someone who's been sick before. You'll be full alot sooner than you'd expect."



They finally made it back to the Med Lab quarantine room unnoticed. Logan used the torn sheet as a picnic blanket and placed it on the floor by the beds. They placed their "prey" between them and stared at the food for a few seconds.

"The・re meltin・, kid." noticed Logan, pointing at the popsicles.

"Argh! I・ll put them in the med fridge." Which she did then sat back in front of the food. She grabed a can of Coke and took a cautious sip. No side effects. She picked up the bowl of Jello and decided to try some.

Logan opted for the bread and applesauce.

They sat and ate for a few minutes, all cautious as to the way their stomachs were reacting. Jubilee discarded the Jello and eyed the bread.

"Mine," he growled.

"All right! Anyway, all this stuff is absolutly tasteless! I・ll try a popsicle."

After they had enough (and Jubilee was right, they had plenty and still too much), they stared in silence at the leftovers.

"You know... we should like, hide it somewhere? If Dr. Grey sees it, we・re like dead. ・Sides, we might need it later." suggested Jubilee.

"That・s the smartest thing I've ever heard you say."

"Hey, I beat you at it!"

The bickering continued, then turned into strategic-like discussion on the best spots to hide the provisions. Of course, the 4 remaining popsicles had to be kept in the med fridge. Same for the Jello. Coke and Ginger ale cans had to be hidden in the toilet reservoir. The bread got hidden under Jubilee・s bed while the applesauce pot had been put in the plastic pan (which Jubilee made sure hadn・t been used by Logan).

Logan managed to hide one half of the cut sheet under his pillow while Jubilee took charge of the other part.

"I think I・ll have a nap before breakfast." announced Jubilee. Their little expedition to the kitchen had exahusted her.

Logan felt just the same and didn・t argue. For once in a long time, he felt very sleepy. He laid back on his mattress and closed his eyes.

"Sleep well, Yogi-Bear."

"Can it."



Forty-five minutes later, Logan woke, sweaty and nauseous. He could hear Jubilee snoring lightly through her stuffy nose, peacefully asleep.

'Why did I have to eat all that bread?' he chastized himself. 'Should've stuck to the lighter foods like Jubes.'

Now he had to throw up again. For someone who'd never puked in his remembered life, he was sure learning to hate the sensation. How did all those supermodels do it? Why would anyone want to do this on purpose?

In fact, he was willing to pay quite handsomely right now if someone would come along and just throw up for him. He would stay in bed and just suddenly feel better while someone else took the abuse. That's the way it would be in a perfect world. Of course, it wasn't a perfect world, and as he lay there coughing, he felt it would just be better if he got up and got it over with.

Dragging himself into the bathroom, he made his way to the can, only to find that he couldn't do it. Now that he was here, it wouldn't come. Of course, as soon as he went and lied back down again, he'd feel different, so he stayed, resting his head on the cold porceline.

That's how Jean found him, sound asleep, when she came to check on her patients that morning.



Jean debated with herself. On one hand, she was a doctor and she'd sworn a hypocratic oath. On the other hand, it would be a great way to calm the surly patient down. 'And if I can get him to calm down and stay in bed, then he'll get better faster.' The thought, 'And he'll be out of my hair faster,' lingered in her mind. With decisive movements, Jean pulled out the one-time use polaroid camera and snapped a picture.

Logan slept on, his fingers curled around the seat of the toilet as a child might hold onto a favorite blankey.

'It really is an endearing picture. Maybe I'll show Rogue before Logan makes me burn it.' Jean smiled impishly and tucked the camera, with its endearing picture, into her labcoat.

That done, Jean moved to the sleeping man and lightly rubbed his shoulder. "Logan, wake up. Let's get you back into the bed."

Logan whimpered and brought the back of his hand up to his cheek to rub, his eyes squinting shut with the determination of a teen hoping for 'Just five more minutes, Mom'. Jean bit back the 'Awwww.' reflex.

"Logan, to bed. It'll be warmer."

The cajoling words seemed to penetrate the older man's deep sleep. He blinked up with bleary eyes, yawned, wrinkled his nose, and snuffled. "'Time is it?"

"Almost breakfast. I came down to ask if you guys thought you could keep a little oatmeal down." Jean smiled very reassuringly as she helped Logan up and got him to stagger back to his bed on the floor.

Logan just kinda tumbled onto the bed, seemingly thankful that it wasn't something he had to climb into. Climbing into a bed was just too much to handle right now. "I can eat." '...I think.'

"Need tissues." The petulant voice sounded from a rather tall lump on the bed one over.

Jean crossed the room and brought over a box of fresh Kleenex. "Here you go, Jubilee." A noncommital snuffle and a hand reaching for a tissue was her only answer.

Trying very hard not to smile, Jean reached over and patted the high point of the lump, where she expected Jubilee's head to be. The lump on the bed jumped and a head peeked out from under the sheets. "I'll thank you kindly to not touch m'butt, Dr. Grey." Jubilee's voice and expression contained shards of ice.

Jean blinked, her mouth dropping open in shock. "But..."

The blankets slid off of Jubilee's back to reveal Jubilee's odd sleeping position. She seemed to be on her knees, her arms curled under her body, and if Jean thought about it, she could see that the top of Jubilee's head had been flat on the mattress.

A snort came from Logan's bed.

Jean blinked some more.

Jubilee declared, "I'll eat oatmeal. With raisins. And Sprite. Thanks." Glaring further still, Jubilee grabbed the blanket's edge and pulled it back over her head.



Logan glared down at the bowl of oatmeal, seemingly saying, 'You don't hurt me, and I won't hurt you.'

He hadn't actually lost the bread he'd eaten in the wee hours of the morning, so he must be getting better, but he didn't want to push it. He took a small spoonful of the pastey substance and placed it in his mouth. It tasted like... well... hmm... it was actually tasteless. Plain, dull, and boring, but his stomach didn't complain. Of course, it hadn't complained until later before. He decided to focus on the Sprite he'd been given and not risk too much on the oatmeal. It was sweeter than he usually liked, and bubbly, but his stomach felt better for it.

Peeking around the divider, he could see Jubilee must be feeling much better. She was devouring her oatmeal with ravenous glee. Of course, she was sniffling, snorting, and blowing her nose all the way through the meal. He saw her sneeze once, with her mouth full of oatmeal. She obviously didn't want to sneeze it across the room, so she'd kept her mouth shut. The way her eyes bulged made him laugh so hard he coughed and choked for a full minute. Jean had come rushing in at his loud sounds of distress, but he couldn't catch a breath to tell her what had happened. Jubilee just gave him a deep scowl and went on with her breakfast.


He'd been napping through the morning, making up for his tiring kitchen excursion and uncomfortable porceline nap, when a shoe landed on his head and he shot up, instinctively slashing it to ribbons.

"Finally, you're awake."

"What'd you do that for?"

"You were snoring."


"Snoring. I swear, it was so loud you had the school's foundation rattling."

Logan sat up, ready to defend his noctural breathing abilities, when he realized his nose had betrayed him. "What the *$^@&$*!?!"


"My nose!"

Jubilee looked around the screen at the sniffling Wolverine. "Here, take some Kleenex," she said, tossing him a box. "Blow your nose."

"Uh... how?"

At her unbelieving expression, he added, "Hey, gimme a break. I've never been sick before."

"Ok, hold the Kleenex to your nose like so," Jubilee said, demonstrating with a tissue of her own. "Then close your mouth and blow out through your nose."

Logan did as he was told. "OW! My ears!"

"You don't blow that hard!" Jubilee instructed. "Try it again. Gently."



Jean came back to the quarantine to check on her patients and bring sweat pants and shoes to Logan. 'I can・t bear to see him half naked anymore,' she thought.

Jubilee had eaten almost all of her oatmeal and a full can of Sprite. Her temperature seemed to be normal, and if not for ther constant sneezing, Jean Grey considered that the teenager could leave the med lab and now rest in her room.

Upon hearing that great news, Jubilee almost jumped out of her bed and started to gather her things.

"What about me?" inquired Logan.

"You have to stay here for now. You still have some fever, and I doubt you can keep your food down." answered Jean.

He growled. He didn・t like it a bit. So he stood on his legs and grabbed the sweat pants, pulling them on.

"I・m outta here," he announced.

Jean stood firmly before him. "Oh no you don・t. Doctor・s orders." she stated.

"Well, tell your *doctor* where to put..." he cut in before he realized the doctor was actually Jean. Old habits...

"Logan... why don・t you stop being so..." she started, not sure that the word *childish* could be used with him.

Logan glared at her. For Jean and for Jubilee, watching the exchange from the side of her bed, it was obvious he wouldn・t take any opposition. But just as he bent to put his shoes on, his stomach revolted once again. Bad timing for his dignity, very bad timing. Knowing that he couldn・t prevent it this time, and having no time to run to the bathroom, he grabbed the plastic pan and dutifully used it.

Jean didn・t react and stood still, glaring at him with a I-told-you-so look.

Jubilee turned greenish but her stomach didn・t react. She now wanted more than ever to run from this room.

Jean telekinetically offered a glass of water to Logan, whose first instinct had been to shatter it. He reluctancly took it and drank some, then sat back on his mattress.

"Get some rest, and we・ll see how you・re feeling tomorrow, O.K.?" bargained Jean.

Logan didn・t answer, only a shrug of his shoulders conveyed his state of mind. Caged, he felt caged.

"Logan?" insisted Jean. "Are you all right?"

"Leave me alone." he grumbled. In fact, he felt almost defeated. Not by Jean, but his body had obviously let him down. And there was no need to parade around and show it to everyone.

"Hey, Wolveroonie, I・ll stay with you, if you want. I mean, gee, we・re so well treated here. One bathroom for two, that・s more than what I get upstairs with all the girls. But you have to promise to stop snoring!" offered a petulant Jubilee.

As soon as she said it, she kinda regretted it. What had she just said? Volunteer to stay with that grumpy man? Wow.

But as soon as she met his red and feverish eyes, she thought she saw something very unexpected. Was it hope, or gratitude?

"Hey kid. I don't need no pity..." he started.

"Gee, will you listen to you, Macho Man? It・s settled." she dropped her belongings on her bed and turned to a rather astonished Jean Grey. "But I need some stuff... I・ll make you a list..."



As Jean was finishing Jubilee's list, and Logan had to admit that some of the items definitely had possibilities, Logan's worst nightmare became a reality and Scott Summers entered the room.

After giving Jean a peck on the cheek, he surveyed the wreckage of the room. "Hey, Jubes, Logan. I was sorry to hear you guys were sick. Anything I can do to help?"

"Here, honey," Jean said, handing him the list before Logan could respond. "Could you pick these things up for Jubilee?"

"Sure," Scott said and left.

Logan was stunned. No petty remarks or witty comments about his illness. No jabs or pithy reminders of his vaunted healing factor letting him down. Why wasn't Cyke being a dick? The only conclusion he could draw was that he was a lot sicker than he thought.

"Jeanie, tell me straight. I'm dying aren't I."

Jean looked at him in confusion and then burst out in laughter. "No, Logan, you're not dying. Scott can be nice when he wants to be. C'mon, lie down and relax," she said tucking him in on the mattress. "I'll get you another one of these," she said picking up the plastic pan.

The pan felt unusually heavy in her hands and she dared a peek at its contents. There was a glass jar half full of applesauce that had definitely not come from Logan's stomach.

"What's this? Applesauce?"

She watched as Jubilee and Logan both donned angelic expressions of innocence, or as close as you could get when you were guilty as sin.

"I suppose this has something to do with the popsicles and jello I found in my specimen freezer." She noticed the exchanged glances of the co-conspirators. "Ok, where's the rest of it."

"Oh, c'mon, Dr. Grey," Jubilee spoke up. "It was the middle of the night, and we were hungry. We didn't take anything you shouldn't eat with the flu."

"You're quarantined. That means you don't leave the med lab."

"But we didn't see anyone."

"That doesn't matter. It's the principle of the thing."

"Ok, can we keep the stash, well everything but the applesauce, if we promise not to do it again?"

"I'll think about it."



"T・was a close one, huh, Dr. Grey?" Jubilee suddenly asked.

Jean turned from the counter where she was working and looked at Jubilee, puzzled. "I beg your pardon?"

"Yeah right. Like you wanted Scooty to see you near a half-naked Mister Universe. Good thing you brought the man some clothes. Not that it was that annoying... er... I mean..." Jubilee pretended that she had to sneeze, which would cover her blushing face.

"Jubilee. First, I ask you to not refer to Scott with such nickname..." started Jean, not quite mad.

"Hey! Tarzan here can call him all names he wants... Lemme think..." she cut in. "Scooter, One-Eye..."

"That・s enough, Jubilee," warned Jean, although she was a bit curious at the nicknames Logan had for her boyfriend.

"Oh, and most of all, dick." finished Jubilee.

A low growl from the floor by Logan・s bed made sure Jubilee stopped. Not that she was impressed by it, but if she had to stay in there, {gee, I voluntered???} she shouldn・t piss him off.

Jean shrugged and dismissed that discussion. Before leaving, she went to the bathroom to deal with the used plastic pan. She disappeared in the bathroom. Silence fell on the room.

"Huh... Mister?" Jubes asked.

"*grrrl* What?!"

"I was thinking... I・ll never be a doctor. Gee, Dr. Grey having to clean your mess..." She stopped. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed.

"What now?"

"You think she・ll have to use the toilet???" she almost yelled.

But too late, a more piercing and indignate scream came out of the bathroom, water already running from under the closed door a few seconds after the toilet had been flushed.

"O.K. We・re like, even more than dead now, man." Jubilee blankly stated, looking for an emergency exit.

The bathroom door suddenly opened and a very angry Jean Grey appeared in the room.



"I'm... wet!" Jean Grey was enraged, but managed to sound like nothing more than a petulant child.

Jubilee stifled a giggle.

Logan stifled dirty thoughts.

Jean began turning several shades of red.

With as much dignity as her water-logged form could allow, Jean sloshed her way to the intercom. Each step she made induced an obscene 'splooch' from her sensible -if soaked- tennis shoes. "Professor?"

There was silence for a moment. Logan and Jubilee eyed each other, wondering if the good doctor was ordering an execution.

"Yes, Jean?"

Jean tightened her hand on the pan she was carrying. It bent. "It seems that the bathroom facilities in the Med Bay aren't functioning properly."

There was another moment of silence. "I see. I'll call in a plummer."

Tension radiated from Jean's body and her words sounded forcibly calm. "I suggest moving Mr. Logan and Ms. Lee to different room, where there are functioning bathrooms."

"Of course, Jean. As you see fit. Xavier out."

Jean flipped the intercom off and turned back to her two patients. "I am going to go to my room and change." Jean makes a slight jerking motion to her (more than slightly) damp pants and shoes. "When I come back, this room will be cleaned, and you will be ready to move."

Jean then turned to the door and walked out with as much dignity as her splootching shoes would allow her.

Jubilee and Logan turned to each other, opened their mouths, and began to laugh. They continued to laugh until a coughing fit overtook them and they were forced to relearn how to breathe.



With magazines, TV, and discman in hand, they followed a dry, but still angry, Jean Grey to the next room over. This room was set up with four beds instead of two, had a 25" TV/VCR combo attached to the wall and the bathroom came with a shower/bath.

"You've been holding out on us, Red," Logan said with a sneeze.

"No, actually, some of the younger children were staying in here before. They're probably who you caught the flu from, Logan. As you can see, the younger children left the room in exactly the same condition as they found it. Hopefully, the *older children* can do the same."

"That's not fair," Jubes replied. "You can't blame us for the toilet breaking."

"Yeah," Logan said, with a tired sigh as he discarded his things on the bedside table and stretched out on his new bed. All he felt like doing was sleeping for days. Of course, he'd settle for a few undisturbed hours.

"Hey, y'all," a familiar voice called from the doorway. "Ya switched rooms."

"Hey, Rogue. Yeah, we're moving up in the world."

"Mr. Summers asked me to bring you this stuff."

"Great," Jubilee answered, when she saw the equipment in Rogue's arms. "Hook up the Sega machine to the TV and let's play."

After getting the equipment connected and loading Tomb Raider, Jubes called over to Logan. "Hey, get up. I wanna show you how to play this game."

The only response was a snort and a loud snore.

"Well, I still wanna play. Rogue, can I challenge you to a game."

"Sure, sugah."



Logan tossed about restlessly, trying hard not to slice the damn Sega console in two. He already felt better, and if he could only sleep, he was sure he would be completely over with that flu.

The girls continued to occassionally shout and continually giggle. It was becoming more and more of a challenge to not jump the noisy video game. If at least the gals would watch a good ol・ hockey game, that would be acceptable.

But no, they continued to play, and it sounded as if the noise gradually became worse.

Having had enough, and before he could do something harsh, he stood and grabbed his blanket and pillow, walking to the bathroom like a kid with his best friend-blanky.

The girls got distracted and looked at him, puzzled.

"Where you going?" asked Rogue.

"Yeah, like, you・re NOT gonna sleep in the bathroom, hey? We might need it, ye know."

"?&%?$*&" came as the only answer as the bathroom door slammed shut. A distinctive *click* announced that the door was locked.

Jubilee shrugged and grinned at Rogue. "I・ll beat you!"

And the game resumed.

Finally, after a few feverish seconds, Logan settled in his new makeshift den, in the bath.

Almost at the same instant, a sneezing fit could be heard in the main room; it wasn・t Jubilee though.



~Logan! Out of the bathroom!~

Logan jumped as both the voice echoed in his head and the locked door suddenly slammed inward.

Within three minutes, Logan realized two very important details. First, Doctor Jean Grey had broken the bathroom door. Second, Doctor Jean Grey wasn't nearly so gorgeous hunched over a toilet while losing her lunch.

Rogue and Jubilee got up from their place in front of the television and stood in the bathroom's doorway with the hastily moved Logan. Rogue's eyes were wide as she queried, "But Ah thought you got the vaccine?"

Jubilee was slightly more helpful. She went to the sink and filled a glass of water for the still toilet-hugging Jean. "See, that's why I didn' bother with a shot. Those're only fifty-percent accurate, dontcha know. Flu shots are just educated guesses about what might be coming six months in the future."

Jean gurgled her thanks as she took the water.



Logan had returned to the main room and climbed back on his bed. He watched Jean join them a few minutes later from the bathroom.

"So who's gonna take care of us now?" Jubilee asked. "If the flu shot doesn't work, Rogue's the only one that probably won't get sick, and she's no doctor."

"Call... Professor." Jean groaned.

Rogue activated the wall intercom and informed the professor of the situation.

"I'll contact an associate of mine. I'm sure he'd be willing to help. He should arrive within a few hours."

"A few hours," Jubilee whined. "What about lunch?" Now that she was no longer nauseated, she was starving. Jean and Logan just groaned.

"I'll get ya lunch, Jubes," Rogue answered. "What should I get for them?"

"Jean won't want anything, trust me, so ice water'll be fine. Umm, Logan hasn't had much luck with food. Hey, what are those things they feed pregnant women when they're nauseated?"

"Jubes..." Logan warned with a growl/cough.

"Saltines," Rogue answered. "You'll like 'em, sugah. They're dull and boring, and not too heavy. They should work fine."

As Rogue left, Jubilee returned to the Sega game. She got about 30 seconds into it when the plug was telekinetically pulled from the wall. "Hey!"

There were advantages to having a sick telekinetic on your side. Logan smiled and rolled over to finally get some sleep.


He couldn't remember what he'd been dreaming about, but the bright light in his eyes brought him jarringly back to full wakefulness. Snapping his eyes open, he saw a blue-haired giant, leaning over him with a small pen-light. Growling, he rolled off the bed away from the creature, lost his footing, and fell in a heap on the floor. The pain shooting through his skull at the sudden movement, left him clutching his head in agony. He wished at that moment that the blue-haired beast was an enemy attacking the school, just so he could be put out of his misery. No such luck.

"So sorry to startle you. My name is Doctor Henry McCoy. Professor Xavier requested my services while Dr. Grey is indisposed."

Logan tried to groan, but that just made his head hurt worse. It was like someone had put spikes through his skull just to the side of either eye and was twisting them and scrambling his brains. No, it was like he was wearing a steel hat five-sizes too small and the metal was crushing his head in a band from his forehead around. He could feel every beat of his heart reflected in the pounding of his head as someone rhymically tightened and loosed the steel hat. Every movement of his body, every noise, every glimpse of the world around him hurt. He just wanted to stay in a dark room with no sound, never moving for the rest of his life.

Dr. McCoy easily picked Logan up and placed him back on his bed. Logan would probably have been surprised at the strength the Doctor exhibited if he had been paying attention to anything but his own agony. Grabbing the pillow from behind his head, Logan covered his face, rubbing at his forehead, trying to soothe the ache.

"Oh, dear. Given your symptoms and past history, I must conclude that you have what is commonly referred to as a sinus headache."

Logan didn't care what it was called. He just wanted it to go away.

Dr. McCoy returned to his bedside after a minute with a pill and a glass of water. "This decongestant/anti-histamine medication should alleve the worst of your symptoms."

Logan removed the pillow, took the pill, and quickly resumed his position, blocking out the world.



Jubilee was pleasantly surprised that Logan managed to fall asleep and stay asleep for so long. He'd taken the antihistamines and slept the sleep of the honking goose straight through dinner.

Well, to be fair, he had stopped honking somewhere around eleven at night, much to Jubilee's relief and much to Jean's frayed nerve's relief. Jubilee was fairly certain Jean had been two minutes away from telekinetically shoving a- well, let's just say the Great Wolverine had been very close to getting his temperature taken in the unpleasant way.

To Jubilee's further relief, Jean managed to keep down some NyQuil and was now, at just a little after midnight, asleep.

Hank, the fuzzy blue doctor the Professor had sent in, was real fun. He gave her a lollipop (which didn't rebel with her still slightly twitchy stomach) and played Scrabble with her while waiting for 'their' patients to settle in for the night.

Once Jean finally went down, Hank nodded to Jubilee. Jubilee sighed and went to her bed to curl down and get some rest. She'd had a long day and although she was feeling better, she was nowhere near a hundred percent.

Hank smiled as his energetic 'nurse' fell asleep moments after her head hit the pillow.


Jubilee awoke to the sound of someone pathetically retching into the toilet next door. Her empty stomach twitched in sympathy... or hunger. It was too early to figure out the signals her body was sending out.

Logan, in the bed one over, sat up and blinked. 'Heeeey...' He sniffed. Then blinked. He sniffed again, just to make sure. 'I HAVE A NOSE! ...Someone should really close the bathroom door. That smell is nasty.'

Logan hopped out of his bed and stretched, his body feeling great. His healing factor must have kicked back in. Jubilee jumped out next to him and grinned, noticing by how he wasn't hunched over and whimpering that he was feeling better.

The toilet was flushed.

Jubilee went to go see if Jean was okay when she realized that the bed closest to the bathroom was moaning. Jean's red head poked out from beneath her covers and she groaned, sounding for all the world like a bleating goat.

Logan turned to the bathroom in surprise. Rogue, in all her skunk-striped glory, opened the door. She looked a shade only slightly off from the pale-green walls.

Jubilee went to her bed, pulled down the covers, and motioned for Rogue to climb in. Shivering as the cold floor sent frozen vibes up her legs, Rogue moved to the bed, got in, and was firmly tucked down. A box of tissues went right next to her head.

"Me n' Logan'll just go on up to the kitchen and get you n' Dr. Jean some juice, 'kay?" Rogue nodded at Jubilee and sniffled pitifully.

Logan went to the door and held it open for Jubilee, then walked himself out and closed the door.

They had almost made it to the kitchen when they heard Scott Summers ask, in his most chilly of voices, "Would you happen to know how the plumber came to remove cans of Ginger Ale and Coke from the toilet tank in the Med Bay?"



The End