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"God...er, Dog":
"God...er, Dog", "When in Rome", "Bands of
Gold": Bobby rushed out of his dance class with Cliff and into his mother's car. "Did you have fun today, Bobby?" Bobby nodded. He didn't want to say it out right to his mother or to anyone else, but he was really having fun in dance. It was pretty cool to be one of the only boys in a class overflowing with girls. He knew he'd look back on these classes when he was much older with much fondness, though he didn't know why quite yet. One of the other perks of being the only boy in the class meant that he had a lead part in the class's recital. In fact, he had the lead boy's role because Cliff had no concept of rhythm and the other boy, Rocky something, was a clutz. Bobby had natural grace and skill, or so his teacher told him. Maddy stopped the car in front of her brother's house. Partly to drop off Cliff. "Now Bobby, I want to make sure you get really wet and--oh! I almost forgot, here!" Maddy dug into her purse and brought out a spray bottle. "Mom, you already got me one of these..." "Yes, but this one has water from the pool! I got it when I was out shopping. This will give you that authentic chlorine smell!" Bobby grinned. "Cool!" * William helped Hollis zip up her dress. "We only have about three more minutes before Maddy comes home, do you have everything?" Hollis patted herself. "Ah think so...how do Ah look?" William gazed at her and pulled her into a kiss. "Hideous." Hollis playfully hit him in the arm. "Same time tomorrow?" William shook his head. "Bobby doesn't have swim lessons until Wednesday." "Damn it!" William laughed. "You are so pathetic looking when you swear." "It's hard ta be this beautiful and this frustrated at the same time!" William pulled her into another kiss. "You need to go." Hollis shimmied her way out of William's arms. "Ah'll see you Wednesday." William watched as Hollis left the house and remained in the door frame until Maddy and Bobby came home. "Did you do good today, son?" Bobby nodded. "Good." William turned to his wife and kissed her blandly on the cheek. "And dinner is going to be...?" "Chicken with my parents, Jake, Hollis, and the kids." "Cliff and Holly are coming over? Cool!" Bobby said, bouncing around. "Why didn't you tell me, Maddy?" "I did tell you, William...I told you last night." "And that did a whole lot of good, didn't it?" Maddy lowered her eyes in shame. "I'm sorry." William growled as he headed out the door. "William?" "I'm going for a walk, Madeline." "Please be home in time for--" "I will, Madeline, for crying out loud, I will!" William Drake slammed the front door to his house and let out a sigh. He looked through the front window to see his wife trembling towards the kitchen. "Crap." William quickly went to his car and pulled a cigar from underneath the driver's seat, lit it, and started his walk. * Holland sneered with every note that came out of Hollis Bass's mouth as she sang while brushing her hair. "Why are you so happy?" Hollis grinned. "Ah'm always in a good mood, Holly." Holland rolled her eyes. "You know that we're going over to Aunt Maddy's house for dinner, right?" "Of course, Holly!" Hollis pinned a lock of chocolate brown hair in a tortoise shell clip. "And you know Nana and Poppa are coming, too, right?" "Of course, Holly!" Hollis pinned another lock of hair, but this time, she nearly pinned it into her hand. "Ow!" Holland gloated. "Okay, Mom. Just wanted to make sure you knew." * "Poppa!" Bobby rushed up gracefully into his grandfather's arms. Seth grinned as he hugged his grandson. "Can't help loving that boy of mine!" "Mom, what took you so long coming in?" Madeline inquired as her mother finally made it in. "Is your leg bothering you again?" "Yes, Madeline, if I'm even the slightest bit slow getting from point a to point b, it must because of my leg that was broken over twenty years ago that seems to still be bothering me, even though it's warm and sunny out. I swear, child, you could have been the next Sherlock Holmes." Madeline laughed. "Oh, Mom!" Nan rolled her eyes. "I was checking to see if Jacob was here yet, that's all." Madeline went over to hug her mother. "No, you and Dad are the first to get here." Nan sighed. She loved her daughter, but sometimes the things that would come out of her mouth...at least she married well. "Where's William?" "He went for a walk." "Madeline, a man needs his cigar! You should let him smoke in his own house." "Mom, you know how I hate for people to smoke in my house!" On cue, Seth lit up his cigar. Nan gloated. "It's not your house, Madeline, it's William's. It's the least you can do for him if your not going to give him another child." Madeline blushed. "We've been through this, too, Mom...you know I can't have anymore children." "Just because one doctor said so...! Tell me at least that you and William still have sex!" "Mom!" Maddy looked over to make sure her son didn't hear her grandmother. "It's a little hard to explain..." "It's a little hard to explain or is William just a little hard?" "Mom!" Maddy whined again. "I don't want to discuss this with you." "Why not, Madeline? Your father and I--" "Mom, please--" "Twice a day. Thrice on Sunday." Maddy whimpered. "It's been like that since we were married. Madeline, it's open season! You two are still fairly young, you should be going at it like rabbits." Maddy sunk down in a chair, knowing that she was defeated. "Is it that William has trouble getting it--" "No!!" Maddy paused. Nan grinned. "Good. We have a start. It's an urban legend, that "it happens to all men" -- your father and have been married for nearly forty years, now, and not once has your father failed me yet." Maddy groaned. "In fact, just before we drove over, your father was--" "Mom?" Jacob called from the front entrance of the Drake home. "Jacob!" Maddy rushed over to hug her brother and whispered into his ear, "Thank you." "Was she talking about her and Dad...?" Jacob whispered back. Maddy hugged her brother even more tightly. * "Are you taking notes, Jacqueline?" Nan held up her fork that had some chicken on it. "Chicken. With Rosemary. No phone book needed to make." "Mom..." "Well, Madeline, the girl has to learn to cook one day, and when she does, you can be sure it won't be from her mother." Nan belched. "Excuse yourself, Mom!" Nan snorted. "Really, Madeline, if anyone should be excusing themselves, it should be you -- you know perfectly well that chicken makes me gassy." Bobby looked intently on his mashed potatoes and green beans, sculpting his masterpiece. Seth compared his sculpted masterpiece with his grandson's and gave him a thumbs up. Maddy noticed the exchange and spoke up. "Don't encourage him, Dad!" "That's me!" Seth sang. "One day I caught an eagle, to big to tote, I changed him for a sparrow, a jack ass and a goat." "We've talked about singing at the table, Dad..." "That's me!" Seth sang. "One day--" "Dad, have another roll," Jacob said while thrusting the basket of bread his way. "Rolls!" Seth said giddily. "Just what I need to finish my creation..." "Please, Dad--" "That's me!" "Don't start again!" "One day a vicious monkey chased me a mile or two. I hid behind a donkey, the donkey fainted, too!" "Bobby!" "That's me!" Bobby sang. Madeline looked over to her husband who was quietly eating his food. "William, aren't you going to talk to your son?" "Dinner's good, Maddy," William spoke absentmindedly. "William? Are you okay?" "The mashed potatoes are fine, Maddy." "William?" William got up from the table. "I'm going to go watch some television, Maddy." Madeline watched her husband leave the table and looked back to her mother. "You know I don't like Dad encouraging Bobby like that, Mom! You see what does to William!" Nan rolled her eyes for the tenth time that minute. "Oh, Maddy, open your eyes! Your husband has bigger and more important things on his mind than Captain Spalding!" "That's me!" Seth and Bobby sang in unison. * Author's Note: Next up, Alyson Hurt's Birthday fic...
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