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The Dark Ride Saga: Chapter 9 by King Doom Disclaimers- Yet another legal thingy: One of these days, I will claim I own them, just to see what happens. But not today. Archiving: Sure, why not. I won't even ask for a tall, cold one in exchange. I'll just sit here and look appealing. Rating: Good question. Time frame: Well, sort of around now, if you get the comics in England. Maybe. You know how fanfic is. Spoilers: Did I make the star wars crack yet? How about a matrix reference? If I haven・t then probably.
I looked around. The mall was, well it was a mall. A big stone building full of the happy sounds, sights and smells of capitalism. We weren・t even inside and I was hyperventilating. I HATE CROWDS. Just in case that wasn・t clear enough ,I HATE CROWDS. Ahem. Sorry. Like I・ve said before, they freak me out. People staring, pointing, running away screaming in fear, forming lynch mobs, the usual. That kinda thing has a serious impact on the self confidence of even the greasiest of used car salesmen, let alone a normal mutant. I looked around. The placed didn・t look like anything special but from the way Hank and Abacus had been talking on the drive up here it seemed like it had special significance for them. Bobby as a goomba slacker mallrat sure, but Hank? That I cannot even begin to imagine. It・s like trying to picture your granny naked. The image is just・wrong. Very, very wrong. And if it seems like I idolize Hank, I do. He・s a world famous scientist, former avenger and fully capable of pulling someone・s arms off with his feet. Plus whenever he・s around he makes me look slightly less huge and evil giant Tokyo destroying lizard like by comparison. Or something. You think I sound pathetic now, you should have heard the conversation on the way up. ・Yes Dr. McCoy.・ ・Really Doctor McCoy?・ ・Wow. I had no idea.・ ・No Doctor McCoy.・ I was just agreeing with everything he said. Total fawning. Well, okay I wasn・t calling him Doctor McCoy. Every time I did that he interrupted by shouting ・He・s dead, Jim!・ He・s smart, well educated, cool, calm, collected, confident, charismatic and probably a lot of other words beginning with c. He・s everything I want to be. Anyway. I looked around the entrance. I・d been stood there for a coupla minutes at least and to my surprise I couldn・t see a lynch mob forming or anything. I was getting a few odd looks from nearby people but the looks were curiosity, not hatred. Still, crowds equal bad. The others were dispersing, wandering off to their favorite stores. Scott took a moment to remind everyone of our schedule and walked off, leaving me and Marrow. I took a deep breathe. She gave me a look and asked if I was okay. I muttered something along the lines of ・I・ll survive.・ And to my total surprise, she slipped her hand into mine, looked up at me and said ・If you mention this to anyone, EVER, I will kill you in a way so nasty whoever finds your body will be scarred for life.・ Aside from the threat I thought it was a very sweet gesture. And an oddly reassuring one. I felt a lot better. I wasn・t going to tell her that though. There・s only one of me around, and I owe it to the universe to keep me around for as long as possible, preferably avoiding any sort of violent stabbing along the way. We walked off into the mall. Since I・d entered the institute with a half empty duffel bag and the clothes on my back as my only possessions I needed pretty much one of everything. Scooter had handed me a platinum credit card. Apparently Professor Picard had told him to give it to me so I could pick up a few essentials. I was as surprised as you are. I mean, a platinum card. I have no idea what the limit is on that but I get the feeling I could buy a twelve thousand dollar appendix transplant and not get close to it. Did I just refer to Professor Xavier as Professor Picard? I did didn・t I? It・s that star trek thing again. >P? I cannot believe I・m the only one who sees that. Anyway. Books were purchased, as were many obscure movies from a shop called Stomp Tokyo. I love obscure movies. And bad movies. And obscure bad movies. One of the two high points of the trip was finding a shop that stocked my favorite brand of coffee ・Chichen Itza・. Grown deep in the jungles of south America by the inmates of a Peruvian insane asylum, it is very, very strong. If I・m in an evil mood I・ll give it to the unsuspecting and laugh as they drink, go insane and thrash wildly as they try to stop the big blue wasps from flying up their nose and taking over their brains. The second high point of the trip happened a little after I・d just finished buying the entire shops supply of Chichen Itza brand coffee. I was juggling those bags, the other bags of stuff I・d bought plus a huge pile of junk food Sarah had thrust into my arms when she stopped suddenly. If I never mentioned it before, she has a serious sweet tooth. According to her she just enjoys food that・s supposed to be sweet by design, not because it・s decaying. That・s what growing up in a parallel universe・l do to your outlook on life, I suppose. Anyway. We were still holding hands so only with a lot of comical wing flapping did I not fall over. Thinking about that, I・m confused. I・ve got a good three feet straight up on her, as well as several hundred pounds, yet I was the one who almost fell over. Weird huh? Anyway. Sarah announced we had an audience. After managing to rearrange the pile of shopping bags enough so that I could look over them I noticed I was being stared at by a small child. I stared. The child stared back. Finally after what looked like a lot of mental effort on the kids part she decided to ask ・Are you a giant?・ Before I could reply, Sarah knelt down and asked ・Are you a dwarf?・ The kid who I was fairly certain by now was a girl (She was dressed like a character from Pokemon. It was hard to tell ok?) giggled and shook her head. ・He must be a giant then.・ The kid giggled again and Sarah smiled. Turns out she・s good with kids. Who knew? With a cry of ・there you are!・ a very harassed looking woman ran over and picked the kid up. She looked up and noticed me and her eyes widened. ・She wasn・t bothering you was she?・ I assured the woman the kid wasn・t bothering us. She looked like she was about to say something to the kid when she paused, looked me up and down and asked if I was a mutant. I didn・t bother to deny it. Somehow people can tell I・m not human just by looking at me. What happened next was very surprising. Is it me or do I tend to describe things as very surprising a lot? Meh. Probably just me. Off with the tangent and on with the story. Or something. Anyway. She explained that she was a teacher at a local school and that she was arranging an event where people from different minority groups were being invited to talk in front of the school, to promote racial tolerance. The one group she hadn・t been able to find a representative from was mutants. She finished her explanation and gave me a hopeful look. It took me a moment to realize that she was hoping I would volunteer. That was very surprising. I do describe things as very surprising, and I do it a lot. Not sure why I felt the urge to point this out though. Anyway. Sarah pulled me to one side and said ・I think you should do this. You could really do something good here.・ I looked skeptical. She looked mildly annoyed. I recognized her look. It said ・I am the woman here, and I will enjoy making your life hell if I don・t get my way.・ I never stood a chance. As we walked away a thought struck me. Why was I doing this and not Sarah?
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